tEa TiMe!!!
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
guilty
I just read Proverbs 16... And I've learned that God hates conceited people. Oh my! How many times have I been conceited with or without knowing? #_#. He must have been displeased many many times...=(
Being conceited is part of human nature's response for survival I guess... It's a default sinful instinct... I'm guilty I believe, but I want to change. So if anybody here who cares for me and found me guilty of this again, please remind and correct me. (nicely i hope) hehehe.... but if you want to reprimand me in any way you want, I deserve so if I'm guilty ^_^.
Hahay... I'm quite sad about not being called down for a vball practise. I couldn't blame my fellow A-blockers because I'm such an inacive resident. The only thing I participate for the block is that Angel-Mortal game and one of my mortals have not replied to me for ages! Anyway, I couldn't blame him either... hehe... All of these is a result of my changed priorities ^_^. But I do feel sad to observe that to them I'm but a fierce and inactive, and maybe unwanted squatter... Okay, maybe I'm just cynic but at least not insensitive, and not too paranoid either.
oh well...
May the Lord lead us always...
Ja!
¶ 12:18 AM 0 comments
Being conceited is part of human nature's response for survival I guess... It's a default sinful instinct... I'm guilty I believe, but I want to change. So if anybody here who cares for me and found me guilty of this again, please remind and correct me
Hahay... I'm quite sad about not being called down for a vball practise. I couldn't blame my fellow A-blockers because I'm such an inacive resident. The only thing I participate for the block is that Angel-Mortal game and one of my mortals have not replied to me for ages! Anyway, I couldn't blame him either... hehe... All of these is a result of my changed priorities ^_^. But I do feel sad to observe that to them I'm but a fierce and inactive, and maybe unwanted squatter... Okay, maybe I'm just cynic but at least not insensitive, and not too paranoid either.
oh well...
May the Lord lead us always...
Ja!
Monday, August 29, 2005
must have been blessed...
I'd like to believe that I've been hanging out with the coolest youth group in the world. He has done me this great favor. =) And I verily appreciate it. =)
... and I guess not only that... I've heard things about me that I have not heard for such a very long long time and in which my reckoning are but obscure to remember the events... But anyway, somebody just told me that I am a kid and at the same time a lovely girl. =). Ehehe... I like the feeling of being treated as one. =) It's been a long time. People often forget that I was just a kid before because they think that I've matured after all that has happened to me. I may probably be mature in some aspects but really, there is still a kid in me, who likes to play, who likes to wander in places, who likes to have fun and who still has so many things to learn about life. A kid who believes in Jesus as her Lord and Savior. =). A kid who believes in miracles. And a kid who actually must grow up too.
Anyway, it was a pleasure on my part to be called in as that again. I deem it as a blessing. Being a lovely girl is a confirmation for that kid status. ^_^
Haha... Anyway, I should be doing what a university student should be doing! =)
God bless!
Ja! ¶ 9:30 PM 0 comments
... and I guess not only that... I've heard things about me that I have not heard for such a very long long time and in which my reckoning are but obscure to remember the events... But anyway, somebody just told me that I am a kid and at the same time a lovely girl. =). Ehehe... I like the feeling of being treated as one. =) It's been a long time. People often forget that I was just a kid before because they think that I've matured after all that has happened to me. I may probably be mature in some aspects but really, there is still a kid in me, who likes to play, who likes to wander in places, who likes to have fun and who still has so many things to learn about life. A kid who believes in Jesus as her Lord and Savior. =). A kid who believes in miracles. And a kid who actually must grow up too.
Anyway, it was a pleasure on my part to be called in as that again. I deem it as a blessing. Being a lovely girl is a confirmation for that kid status. ^_^
Haha... Anyway, I should be doing what a university student should be doing! =)
God bless!
Ja! ¶ 9:30 PM 0 comments
monday morning
i just opened the dictionary and found out that josh means "tease" or "joke". Buti na lang si Joseph, Josh ang nickname, hindi josh. =) hehee.
anyway, wala lang... I am no longer burdened... Freedom! wee! =)
I'll be having my C++ tutorial today. I've been bothered by that module since last thursday. I was able to make a program and it worked, however the Course Marker gave me a 48.2/100 score for reasons that I could not single out... I'll guess I'll be asking my lecturer later about it. God knows how much I tried to do that program, I even have to miss youth meeting for that!... hmmm but I guess if that's a punishment then I probably deserve that for making futile and stubborn decisions... But I do hope my programming problem can be mended. But then, any plans I make are nothing if He already had made His plans for me in this case. =)
----
I.Care project seems interesting. My conversation buddy is Rujie or Daniel from China! Jackpot! hehe. Finally, I can interview a Chinese from China for things I wanted to learn about them! =) =) =) hehehehe.... Now only Japanese people are left... ^_^... I hope I can find some next sem if not this sem. =)
----
yes I am captured by His embrace =)
I am weak but He is strong!
woohoo! Then I can live each day with an endless source of strength! =D ¶ 2:02 AM 0 comments
anyway, wala lang... I am no longer burdened... Freedom! wee! =)
I'll be having my C++ tutorial today. I've been bothered by that module since last thursday. I was able to make a program and it worked, however the Course Marker gave me a 48.2/100 score for reasons that I could not single out... I'll guess I'll be asking my lecturer later about it. God knows how much I tried to do that program, I even have to miss youth meeting for that!... hmmm but I guess if that's a punishment then I probably deserve that for making futile and stubborn decisions... But I do hope my programming problem can be mended. But then, any plans I make are nothing if He already had made His plans for me in this case. =)
----
I.Care project seems interesting. My conversation buddy is Rujie or Daniel from China! Jackpot! hehe. Finally, I can interview a Chinese from China for things I wanted to learn about them! =) =) =) hehehehe.... Now only Japanese people are left... ^_^... I hope I can find some next sem if not this sem. =)
----
yes I am captured by His embrace =)
I am weak but He is strong!
woohoo! Then I can live each day with an endless source of strength! =D ¶ 2:02 AM 0 comments
Saturday, August 27, 2005
so let it be...
Today was a busy one and i lousily spent my free time surfing the internet for more anime stuff. Finally, I was able to use a good bittorrent which doesn't have to ask me what to do and deal with those firewall details. I might have promised myself not to watch anime for a period of time but i got hooked downloading them. I am anticipating for the time when I can actually watch my favorite animes. Bummer! Sometimes I do get too stubborn that I simply give in to what I want. Now it is already 2:56 and I'm supposed to wake up before 8! See how stubborn a person could get?
---today---
The weather is cold and the LTs are cold too...
Today is pretty much the same like the past few days but I aged... hahaha... we all do I believe.
---ring a bell?---
Funny how people change... Well, sarcastically speaking sometimes... That's life huh? We blend with those who we choose to be around with. We get blinded with what's right. We just do what we want, sometimes ungodly sometimes not, rarely godly. What's right now? Do we still look at ourselves before scoffing at somebody else's? I deem that we cannot judge. If people slap your left cheek, offer your right. Proverbs says remove that slab from your eye first before you point a speck of dust on your friend's eye. Moreover, foul words from our mouth displeases Him (the tongue is the most rotten part of a human body but I guess we can blame the fingers too =P). We should act as if we are the ones building His image towards nonbelievers... we really are responsible. .. but this is all hard....
Just Hard... No wonder people do those not-good-at-all things even though they know they're wrong. Being upright is plain hard and being bad is just way easier. No wonder I was once afraid at reading the Bible because I'll end up totally ashamed for all my errors. Indeed I did end up as one, and now I am more guilty than ever. Now, I really cannot laugh at those Israelites who turned away from Him. Being stubborn was an easy option but with a nasty "reward". But since stubbornness was easier and a temporary instant-comfort, many of us chose it... BUT GEE, WE SHOULD STOP THIS!!! ¶ 2:53 AM 0 comments
---today---
The weather is cold and the LTs are cold too...
Today is pretty much the same like the past few days but I aged... hahaha... we all do I believe.
---ring a bell?---
Funny how people change... Well, sarcastically speaking sometimes... That's life huh? We blend with those who we choose to be around with. We get blinded with what's right. We just do what we want, sometimes ungodly sometimes not, rarely godly. What's right now? Do we still look at ourselves before scoffing at somebody else's? I deem that we cannot judge. If people slap your left cheek, offer your right. Proverbs says remove that slab from your eye first before you point a speck of dust on your friend's eye. Moreover, foul words from our mouth displeases Him (the tongue is the most rotten part of a human body but I guess we can blame the fingers too =P). We should act as if we are the ones building His image towards nonbelievers... we really are responsible. .. but this is all hard....
Just Hard... No wonder people do those not-good-at-all things even though they know they're wrong. Being upright is plain hard and being bad is just way easier. No wonder I was once afraid at reading the Bible because I'll end up totally ashamed for all my errors. Indeed I did end up as one, and now I am more guilty than ever. Now, I really cannot laugh at those Israelites who turned away from Him. Being stubborn was an easy option but with a nasty "reward". But since stubbornness was easier and a temporary instant-comfort, many of us chose it... BUT GEE, WE SHOULD STOP THIS!!! ¶ 2:53 AM 0 comments
Thursday, August 25, 2005
change of opinion
Quite lately I've been hanging out with a bunch of Indians and Sri Lankans. I was wondering to myself why so it seems that I don't go well along with Locals and from this reflection I realized that those two nationalities are far friendlier than Singaporeans. Most of the Singaporeans I've met tend to create racial barriers that which hinders closer ties. Maybe it's with the superiority complex that they'd like to believe in or maybe we have different preferences and it is unavoidable to settle those differences in the first meeting ending possible close ties right then and there. Maybe I find them hard to get along with because they (I suggest based on majority of my observations) talk more of things I'm not really interested at or can't relate at in conversations (i.e. vanity, sex, boys, girls, looks, and all the likes).
Well, like as if Indians and Sri Lankans don't talk about those things! They do, but they know when! They know how to make a person comfortable in their company. They know real fun without really offending other people. They are warm people. They are sensible too and are unaffected by those so-called racial barriers. To me it seems like those things doesn't even exist for them though they tend to create their cliques with their fellow countrymen as we all are. I do really like their company.
Before I really didn't bother about them, but now, I have this growing interest of knowing more about what kind of people they are, their general traits, their beliefs, etc...
But they're not the only race I have grown interest upon, count the Japanese in!(should be very obvious if you have read my previous entries) =) And Chinese people from China (not locals) too since I have read a substantial amount of novels talking about Chinese traditions and even tragedies.
Caucasians are overrated especially in my country but if there is one, I'd like to know more about my SS tutor last school year. He seemed interestingly fun.
----------------
I went for my philo class today and met my new singaporean friend named Mindy(coincidentally sat next to her! and finally I was able to catch her name and number). She's left-handed, left-handed people are good at logic and analysis since their left brain is more dominant than the right, but sadly I guess, she's a freshie in arts. She stays at home. She seems studious. She even borrowed my notes. Surprisingly, I just lent them to her willingly. Glad to notice that I am not that selfish after all because long before, unaware I was sinning, Im not fond of sharing things like those warm-heartedly.
Prof Holbo, as usual, did his thing although he's constantly conscious over his voice being good enough for everyone to hear. He is an understanding professor who got a knack of cracking philosophical jokes (from the readings of course!) and I like him for that; however, I have to be more able to read philosophy readings. They can be a real headache!
After philo, I had my EE2004 tutorial and to my surprise Prashan was added to the number of Sri Lankan friends in my group. Well, he is one of Boat's fellow comrades (that's Chami and my definition of them since last year) who communicates ultrasonically, endowed with far substantial intelligence relative to ordinary human minds. ^_^ They discuss, Boat and company, in dimensions unfathomable by mere mediocre students like me. But I sure am glad to be their friends ^_^. Prashan didn't show up last week so I didn't know we were on the same group.
IRC! Funny or let say enjoyable people! (*wink wink*) Hahaha. I don't know how long I shall last this sem without getting overridden by my duties as the new secretary. =) But anyway, I will draw all my strength from Him who gave me the courage to run for the post! Yeah, my Lord and Savior Jesus!
Philo may be trying to impress their image of Christianity on me but just as what Pascal said, "the God of the philosophers is not the God of Abraham, Isaac and [Jacob]." I know my God is real! And no rationale can falsify that unless He Himself rewire my very being so I can go on living without ever noticing Him!
God bless ya all! and belated to Michael NTU! =) ¶ 12:05 PM 0 comments
Well, like as if Indians and Sri Lankans don't talk about those things! They do, but they know when! They know how to make a person comfortable in their company. They know real fun without really offending other people. They are warm people. They are sensible too and are unaffected by those so-called racial barriers. To me it seems like those things doesn't even exist for them though they tend to create their cliques with their fellow countrymen as we all are. I do really like their company.
Before I really didn't bother about them, but now, I have this growing interest of knowing more about what kind of people they are, their general traits, their beliefs, etc...
But they're not the only race I have grown interest upon, count the Japanese in!(should be very obvious if you have read my previous entries) =) And Chinese people from China (not locals) too since I have read a substantial amount of novels talking about Chinese traditions and even tragedies.
Caucasians are overrated especially in my country but if there is one, I'd like to know more about my SS tutor last school year. He seemed interestingly fun.
----------------
I went for my philo class today and met my new singaporean friend named Mindy(coincidentally sat next to her! and finally I was able to catch her name and number). She's left-handed, left-handed people are good at logic and analysis since their left brain is more dominant than the right, but sadly I guess, she's a freshie in arts. She stays at home. She seems studious. She even borrowed my notes. Surprisingly, I just lent them to her willingly. Glad to notice that I am not that selfish after all because long before, unaware I was sinning, Im not fond of sharing things like those warm-heartedly.
Prof Holbo, as usual, did his thing although he's constantly conscious over his voice being good enough for everyone to hear. He is an understanding professor who got a knack of cracking philosophical jokes (from the readings of course!) and I like him for that; however, I have to be more able to read philosophy readings. They can be a real headache!
After philo, I had my EE2004 tutorial and to my surprise Prashan was added to the number of Sri Lankan friends in my group. Well, he is one of Boat's fellow comrades (that's Chami and my definition of them since last year) who communicates ultrasonically, endowed with far substantial intelligence relative to ordinary human minds. ^_^ They discuss, Boat and company, in dimensions unfathomable by mere mediocre students like me. But I sure am glad to be their friends ^_^. Prashan didn't show up last week so I didn't know we were on the same group.
IRC! Funny or let say enjoyable people! (*wink wink*) Hahaha. I don't know how long I shall last this sem without getting overridden by my duties as the new secretary. =) But anyway, I will draw all my strength from Him who gave me the courage to run for the post! Yeah, my Lord and Savior Jesus!
Philo may be trying to impress their image of Christianity on me but just as what Pascal said, "the God of the philosophers is not the God of Abraham, Isaac and [Jacob]." I know my God is real! And no rationale can falsify that unless He Himself rewire my very being so I can go on living without ever noticing Him!
God bless ya all! and belated to Michael NTU! =) ¶ 12:05 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
when all else fails
I'll lean on Him who loves and saves.
I'll learn to smile again, stand again, and walk again.
Yes, when all else fails, I don't want to lose hope.
Losing hope is far worse than losing the last drop of your blood.
--------------------------
I remember my so-called bitter past, which I believe to have contributed a lot to who I am. I remember jealousy and envy and shame and even anger. I also remember pain, suffering, and a lot of indecisions. I remember foolishness, ignorance and tears... Most of all I remember hope, I remember Him carrying us though unaware we may be. Then I remember laughter, love, trust and living. I remember more smiles, tears and smiles, more love and sharing. I remember care, friendship, strength and happy faces. Eventually, I remember the sweetest memories.
Funny so it seems because when you're losing hope, it is actually a signal that you're gonna live if you just hold on a little longer. Just don't you dare let go of that last drop and you'll surely smile afterwards. The fondest of memories can happen after a dark storm. But really, those dark storms are just gift wrappers for you to enjoy what's inside those big swirling malicious-looking boxes .
"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. " =) ¶ 1:56 AM 0 comments
I'll learn to smile again, stand again, and walk again.
Yes, when all else fails, I don't want to lose hope.
Losing hope is far worse than losing the last drop of your blood.
--------------------------
I remember my so-called bitter past, which I believe to have contributed a lot to who I am. I remember jealousy and envy and shame and even anger. I also remember pain, suffering, and a lot of indecisions. I remember foolishness, ignorance and tears... Most of all I remember hope, I remember Him carrying us though unaware we may be. Then I remember laughter, love, trust and living. I remember more smiles, tears and smiles, more love and sharing. I remember care, friendship, strength and happy faces. Eventually, I remember the sweetest memories.
Funny so it seems because when you're losing hope, it is actually a signal that you're gonna live if you just hold on a little longer. Just don't you dare let go of that last drop and you'll surely smile afterwards. The fondest of memories can happen after a dark storm. But really, those dark storms are just gift wrappers for you to enjoy what's inside those big swirling malicious-looking boxes .
"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. " =) ¶ 1:56 AM 0 comments
Monday, August 22, 2005
following Jesus
Jesus is an amazing Teacher, Friend and even as a Father.
My only trouble about following Him is that His teachings may be perfect, but they're generally hard to keep up with aside from deciphering them and other hidden meanings in His parables.
He is such a wonderful Lord and Savior. He saved me from my troubles. He gives me what I need to live. He even does things I couldn't understand but eventually ended up as something good for me. Indeed the Psalmists were just singing the truth. How I wish I could be just as loud as them.
I know He will still teach me His ways, but surely it'll take time.
Following Jesus is hard, but I believe it's the only way to be complete. Life here on earth is the toughest test we are taking (everything else is included of course i.e. the battles in our minds as we make decisions and act...etc).
oh well, that's it for now. OFF to bed!
God bless! ¶ 12:49 PM 0 comments
My only trouble about following Him is that His teachings may be perfect, but they're generally hard to keep up with aside from deciphering them and other hidden meanings in His parables.
He is such a wonderful Lord and Savior. He saved me from my troubles. He gives me what I need to live. He even does things I couldn't understand but eventually ended up as something good for me. Indeed the Psalmists were just singing the truth. How I wish I could be just as loud as them.
I know He will still teach me His ways, but surely it'll take time.
Following Jesus is hard, but I believe it's the only way to be complete. Life here on earth is the toughest test we are taking (everything else is included of course i.e. the battles in our minds as we make decisions and act...etc).
oh well, that's it for now. OFF to bed!
God bless! ¶ 12:49 PM 0 comments
Friday, August 19, 2005
me and my blabbering mouth
Well sorry to whoever I have blatantly offended ages ago. Anyway, if you know who you are, please forgive me. I have gone way overboard with that, and even saying so in front of your face. I should have been a little more sensitive... I'm just too concerned over your transient regrets that I wanted to help you in a way by telling you what's happening. Maybe you just wanted more. But gee, I was of no help and created clouds between us.
Reminds me though. I was really sensitive years ago. I hated it (note the past tense) because it had hurt me so much. I'm hurting myself for no reason and nobody even knows nor cares. I wanted to be cold. It is my defense mechanism. Why should I wallow in pain while I can choose to be a bit colder myself? But then I guess there are times when I have gone overboard...
Prabs told me something which actually caught my attention (not the "hot chick" thing, he calls every girl like that i guess), which was "last year you look nice, but now you look fierce." Familiar. I've been told the similar thing when I was in my 1st and 2nd year high school. And even more familiar, the similarity of me between now and then is my short hair. I probably look assertive or fierce with it. Somehow short hair gives me some boost, it reminds me of my old self. Those happy and sad times. It really reminds me of me...
Anyway, love life. Not that I'm sick bugged with questions like " Do you have a boyfriend?" or "Where's your boyfriend?" but rather I'm tired of answering "No I don't have" and then they'd follow up like "Really?" or "Impossible" or "Sa ganda mong yan?" (no im not bragging im just saying what they were saying but like I said I don't believe them, read the "me" of this blog) "Don't have to keep it as a secret!" or "Sige na share na!". Like ahemm, I'm not like them probably. I'm aloof! I don't like flirting. I still have a lil hang-over of my teenage MH thingy. haha =P and I have other priorities and I have a promise, a promise that can prove that sometimes I do keep my word. I'm bad at promises. So there, I think it is such a common thing for everyone to think that girls or women of my age are involved in this boy-girl relationship... Sometimes it can be annoying but here's what, when I'll have a boyfriend I'll post it here. Those who read then will be one of the first people to know.
One odd thing that parents should take note. When you allow your children to have boyfriends and even encourage it by teasing them, most likely they won't have (that's my case and some people I know) but when you strictly prohibit it, as in totally banned, think again, most likely they already have. The "illegal" boyfriends. I know some too! hahahaha =)
Oh well... I dunno if some A-block people are reading this... I know last year waterboi was able to "stumble upon" Korinna's blog. Makes me wonder.... hmmmmmm........
Oh well, God should save me from my irresponsible self!
and i still like volleyball although im pretty short =) dun care lah! as long as you can hit, can olredi!
--------i am bestowed with undeserved grace by Someone who died for His enemies, Jesus-------
----there is no god like Him, He alone is the living One I know and believe =)---- ¶ 11:48 PM 0 comments
Reminds me though. I was really sensitive years ago. I hated it (note the past tense) because it had hurt me so much. I'm hurting myself for no reason and nobody even knows nor cares. I wanted to be cold. It is my defense mechanism. Why should I wallow in pain while I can choose to be a bit colder myself? But then I guess there are times when I have gone overboard...
Prabs told me something which actually caught my attention (not the "hot chick" thing, he calls every girl like that i guess), which was "last year you look nice, but now you look fierce." Familiar. I've been told the similar thing when I was in my 1st and 2nd year high school. And even more familiar, the similarity of me between now and then is my short hair. I probably look assertive or fierce with it. Somehow short hair gives me some boost, it reminds me of my old self. Those happy and sad times. It really reminds me of me...
Anyway, love life. Not that I'm sick bugged with questions like " Do you have a boyfriend?" or "Where's your boyfriend?" but rather I'm tired of answering "No I don't have" and then they'd follow up like "Really?" or "Impossible" or "Sa ganda mong yan?" (no im not bragging im just saying what they were saying but like I said I don't believe them, read the "me" of this blog) "Don't have to keep it as a secret!" or "Sige na share na!". Like ahemm, I'm not like them probably. I'm aloof! I don't like flirting. I still have a lil hang-over of my teenage MH thingy. haha =P and I have other priorities and I have a promise, a promise that can prove that sometimes I do keep my word. I'm bad at promises. So there, I think it is such a common thing for everyone to think that girls or women of my age are involved in this boy-girl relationship... Sometimes it can be annoying but here's what, when I'll have a boyfriend I'll post it here. Those who read then will be one of the first people to know.
One odd thing that parents should take note. When you allow your children to have boyfriends and even encourage it by teasing them, most likely they won't have (that's my case and some people I know) but when you strictly prohibit it, as in totally banned, think again, most likely they already have. The "illegal" boyfriends. I know some too! hahahaha =)
Oh well... I dunno if some A-block people are reading this... I know last year waterboi was able to "stumble upon" Korinna's blog. Makes me wonder.... hmmmmmm........
Oh well, God should save me from my irresponsible self!
and i still like volleyball although im pretty short =) dun care lah! as long as you can hit, can olredi!
--------i am bestowed with undeserved grace by Someone who died for His enemies, Jesus-------
----there is no god like Him, He alone is the living One I know and believe =)---- ¶ 11:48 PM 0 comments
Thursday, August 18, 2005
today is thursday
i had my first tutorial! 2nd week that is =)
Yesterday was a long and tedious IRC main comm elections. and well, I guess I placed myself into a quite unfamiliar responsibility. It has been a long time since I had the guts to be in some biggie comm or whatever. It sure did took me a lot of guts! But I guess I'll be learning and I'll be capable enough as to fulfill my new responsibility. Besides, I didn't win for vice-chair for KRX because I guess somebody was just more capable than me. For the IRC case, maybe this time around I won and I'll be capable, which is a must. I don't go loca over defeat (referring back to KRX thingy), it is just normal. I accept defeat with an open heart; I'll be more of a loser if I didn't try because I'm afraid to lose. I wouldn't know if I wouldn't try, and If I'd fail then I'll know further. I know someone will always be better than me and probably more deserving, but since that someone didn't have the guts to show up, then I will and I did! hehe =). I'm not that assertive kind of leader anyway, but I want to learn more of leadership.
I just read Kor's blog. She got a good goal. Perhaps, it is an impressive one for her. =)
As for me, I have a wish (well this one is personal until it comes true). I also have an immediate want, to be able to go to Japan, and maybe do masters or PHD there ^_^. Afterwards, england! =) then Manitoba =). then anywhere else where I am needed =)...heehee...
That's it for today!
Carpe Diem and God bless! ¶ 11:54 AM 0 comments
Yesterday was a long and tedious IRC main comm elections. and well, I guess I placed myself into a quite unfamiliar responsibility. It has been a long time since I had the guts to be in some biggie comm or whatever. It sure did took me a lot of guts! But I guess I'll be learning and I'll be capable enough as to fulfill my new responsibility. Besides, I didn't win for vice-chair for KRX because I guess somebody was just more capable than me. For the IRC case, maybe this time around I won and I'll be capable, which is a must. I don't go loca over defeat (referring back to KRX thingy), it is just normal. I accept defeat with an open heart; I'll be more of a loser if I didn't try because I'm afraid to lose. I wouldn't know if I wouldn't try, and If I'd fail then I'll know further. I know someone will always be better than me and probably more deserving, but since that someone didn't have the guts to show up, then I will and I did! hehe =). I'm not that assertive kind of leader anyway, but I want to learn more of leadership.
I just read Kor's blog. She got a good goal. Perhaps, it is an impressive one for her. =)
As for me, I have a wish (well this one is personal until it comes true). I also have an immediate want, to be able to go to Japan, and maybe do masters or PHD there ^_^. Afterwards, england! =) then Manitoba =). then anywhere else where I am needed =)...heehee...
That's it for today!
Carpe Diem and God bless! ¶ 11:54 AM 0 comments
Monday, August 15, 2005
third post for the day after a very long time, title: the struggle
Just ate dinner and whining over my growing flabs, I felt as if comforted for taking PH1101E, it sure is fun but I hope it shall not take its toll on me.
I'm not weight conscious, it's just that I'm stating the fact that my flabs are growing, to be a lil exact: my flabs are fluctuating between some certain not-so-bad-at-all range.
Back to my PH, just as I suspected, I could have been better off taking Psychology than Engineering. But for some reasons, it is as if I think I can handle Engineering too since I know I'm not the only one who , in a way, mindlessly chose the course without finding out what my true capacity is because they too have finished the course and finally afterwards took a highly opposite course to fill their satisfaction...
Sad to say, I could have been good in drawing or maybe in music. In short, not to my delight actually, my right brain is more dominant, although I could have wished for the left brain to be overwhelming for the sake of being an engineer one day. ^_^ But geez, it's not what it appears to be. Deep in my heart, I think it stems from my father, I loved philisophy, I like being a lawyer, I like to draw, but I also like to be scientific ^_^. It shouldn't be that odd since according to some witnesses, I'm actually the one among my siblings who looked closest to my father.
It is hard to live in a lie, for I have been there. It might provide some cushion for a while but the longer I am on it the harder to get away, the painful it gets. And so, I cannot live in this lie that I'm better off as an engineer but rather I would rather believe that I can be an engineer, it is what the Lord wills me to be, I believe... I might be slaughtering more brain cells in my right brain, but I'll try to create shambles on my left. I believe I can do it because I know even if apparently I couldn't in the end, I wouldn't be wasting my time not trying. Besides, I'm already here and I know the Lord has something to do with it over-all and I know my life wouldn't end up like a parody of someone else's. I'm unique as we all are and I take pride on that, for Him to create me as me and everyone else's as they are. I'm probably a half engineer and half arts/social science stuff and others might be on the extremes of that or in between or not at all. But you see, I am me and they can't just say that I'm purely engineering stuff nor I'm purely art/soc sci stuff. There will always be someone better than me in some aspects but again the point is, I am me and I can be better in some aspects too. There is a sense of balance in this world although possibly something beyond what humans deem to be balanced. I choose to believe that.
hahahah... okie maybe that's a hang-over from my philo class... The topic we discussed might be far-fetched but I felt like reasoning for myself.... hahahha... although I know I definitely don't know everything about me, about my life and about existence. Actually, I don't know quite a lot! ^_^
I'm just a poor girl, not really wanting to be rich but just wanted to be complete. Complete in a sense that even though I may end up poor or filthy rich after many decades or even just years, I attain this peaceful heart that now I finally know can only become stable if it comes from Him. ^_^ ¶ 7:17 PM 0 comments
I'm not weight conscious, it's just that I'm stating the fact that my flabs are growing, to be a lil exact: my flabs are fluctuating between some certain not-so-bad-at-all range.
Back to my PH, just as I suspected, I could have been better off taking Psychology than Engineering. But for some reasons, it is as if I think I can handle Engineering too since I know I'm not the only one who , in a way, mindlessly chose the course without finding out what my true capacity is because they too have finished the course and finally afterwards took a highly opposite course to fill their satisfaction...
Sad to say, I could have been good in drawing or maybe in music. In short, not to my delight actually, my right brain is more dominant, although I could have wished for the left brain to be overwhelming for the sake of being an engineer one day. ^_^ But geez, it's not what it appears to be. Deep in my heart, I think it stems from my father, I loved philisophy, I like being a lawyer, I like to draw, but I also like to be scientific ^_^. It shouldn't be that odd since according to some witnesses, I'm actually the one among my siblings who looked closest to my father.
It is hard to live in a lie, for I have been there. It might provide some cushion for a while but the longer I am on it the harder to get away, the painful it gets. And so, I cannot live in this lie that I'm better off as an engineer but rather I would rather believe that I can be an engineer, it is what the Lord wills me to be, I believe... I might be slaughtering more brain cells in my right brain, but I'll try to create shambles on my left. I believe I can do it because I know even if apparently I couldn't in the end, I wouldn't be wasting my time not trying. Besides, I'm already here and I know the Lord has something to do with it over-all and I know my life wouldn't end up like a parody of someone else's. I'm unique as we all are and I take pride on that, for Him to create me as me and everyone else's as they are. I'm probably a half engineer and half arts/social science stuff and others might be on the extremes of that or in between or not at all. But you see, I am me and they can't just say that I'm purely engineering stuff nor I'm purely art/soc sci stuff. There will always be someone better than me in some aspects but again the point is, I am me and I can be better in some aspects too. There is a sense of balance in this world although possibly something beyond what humans deem to be balanced. I choose to believe that.
hahahah... okie maybe that's a hang-over from my philo class... The topic we discussed might be far-fetched but I felt like reasoning for myself.... hahahha... although I know I definitely don't know everything about me, about my life and about existence. Actually, I don't know quite a lot! ^_^
I'm just a poor girl, not really wanting to be rich but just wanted to be complete. Complete in a sense that even though I may end up poor or filthy rich after many decades or even just years, I attain this peaceful heart that now I finally know can only become stable if it comes from Him. ^_^ ¶ 7:17 PM 0 comments
haha...some women jokes from the net
Element Name: WOMAN
Symbol: WO
Atomic Weight: (don't even go there!)
Physical properties:
Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.
Chemical properties:
Very active. Often unstable. Possesses strong affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.
Usage:
Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.
Caution:
Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.
----
There is a man who goes out drinking all the time and comes home very later every night.
So one night his wife decides to teach him a lesson. She dresses up like Satan, and decides to hide in the dark, and scare him when he gets home.
The man comes home, and his wife jumps out and screams in his face.
He just looks at her and says, ''You don't scare me I am married to your sister!'''
----
10 things only women can understand
10) Cats' facial expressions.
9) The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8) Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7) “Fat” clothes.
6) Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5) The difference between beige, off-white and eggshell.
4) Cutting your bangs to make them grow.
3) Eyelash curlers.
2) The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
1) Other women.
----
10 things men know about women
10)...
9)...
8)...
7)...
6)...
5)...
4)...
3)...
2)...
1) they have tits...
----
women's language translated
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I’m sorry. = You’ll be sorry.
We need... = I want
It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want... = You’ll pay for this later.
We need to talk... = I need to complain Sure...
go ahead = I don’t want you to.
I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!
You’re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You’re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = ...and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
. Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re really not going to like.
I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
Am I fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you’re dead.
Was that the baby? = Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
In response to What’s wrong?:
The same old thing = Nothing
Nothing = Everything
Nothing, really = It’s just that you’re such an idiot
----
The Miracle of Toilet Paper
Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror, complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small.
Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.
"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."
Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.
"How long will this take?", she asks.
"They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies.The wife stops.
"Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?"
"Worked for your butt, didn't it?", he replied...
He lived, and with a great deal of therapy may even walk again....
----
Girls Night Out
The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls" I told my husband that I would be home by midnight....
"I promise!"
Well, the hours passed and the champagne was going down way to easy. Around 3 a.m., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home.
Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.Quickly, realizing he'd probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution especially since I was smashed, in order to avoid a conflict with him.
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him 12 o'clock. He didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one!
Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."
When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh crap!", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times,giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then farted."
----
oh well, women! ^_^ ¶ 4:16 PM 0 comments
Symbol: WO
Atomic Weight: (don't even go there!)
Physical properties:
Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.
Chemical properties:
Very active. Often unstable. Possesses strong affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.
Usage:
Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.
Caution:
Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.
----
There is a man who goes out drinking all the time and comes home very later every night.
So one night his wife decides to teach him a lesson. She dresses up like Satan, and decides to hide in the dark, and scare him when he gets home.
The man comes home, and his wife jumps out and screams in his face.
He just looks at her and says, ''You don't scare me I am married to your sister!'''
----
10 things only women can understand
10) Cats' facial expressions.
9) The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8) Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7) “Fat” clothes.
6) Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5) The difference between beige, off-white and eggshell.
4) Cutting your bangs to make them grow.
3) Eyelash curlers.
2) The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
1) Other women.
----
10 things men know about women
10)...
9)...
8)...
7)...
6)...
5)...
4)...
3)...
2)...
1) they have tits...
----
women's language translated
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I’m sorry. = You’ll be sorry.
We need... = I want
It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want... = You’ll pay for this later.
We need to talk... = I need to complain Sure...
go ahead = I don’t want you to.
I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!
You’re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You’re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = ...and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
. Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re really not going to like.
I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
Am I fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you’re dead.
Was that the baby? = Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
In response to What’s wrong?:
The same old thing = Nothing
Nothing = Everything
Nothing, really = It’s just that you’re such an idiot
----
The Miracle of Toilet Paper
Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror, complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small.
Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.
"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."
Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.
"How long will this take?", she asks.
"They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies.The wife stops.
"Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?"
"Worked for your butt, didn't it?", he replied...
He lived, and with a great deal of therapy may even walk again....
----
Girls Night Out
The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls" I told my husband that I would be home by midnight....
"I promise!"
Well, the hours passed and the champagne was going down way to easy. Around 3 a.m., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home.
Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.Quickly, realizing he'd probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution especially since I was smashed, in order to avoid a conflict with him.
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him 12 o'clock. He didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one!
Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."
When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh crap!", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times,giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then farted."
----
oh well, women! ^_^ ¶ 4:16 PM 0 comments
thank you Lord
For saving me again this time around...
Somehow I finally have understood why Israelites rebelled against you before even though Your holy presence is just as obvious as it can be. I cannot blame them. If I were in their time, I could have the enough reasons to do the same. But I know your mercy will never change. Thank you Lord for not leaving me in the abyss of confusion. Somehow, I have something to hold unto now. =). Thanks a lot for what you just revealed to me. I can now move on peacefully, I hope...
----
I'm starting to enjoy the A blockers company, they're somewhat funny ^_^. Come to think of it, my ex-crush still talks to me and he actually cares ^_^ hahaha... maybe it's just his responsibility. My gash, he's really cute! Even the guys from our block admitted that he is the cutest guy from A-block! (heheh)
----
It's Chami's birthday today and I gave her quite a surprise ^_^ and a white beautiful lily ^_^. It was an interesting party ^_^ in PGP. ^_^
--- tata!---
God bless! ¶ 2:30 AM 0 comments
Somehow I finally have understood why Israelites rebelled against you before even though Your holy presence is just as obvious as it can be. I cannot blame them. If I were in their time, I could have the enough reasons to do the same. But I know your mercy will never change. Thank you Lord for not leaving me in the abyss of confusion. Somehow, I have something to hold unto now. =). Thanks a lot for what you just revealed to me. I can now move on peacefully, I hope...
----
I'm starting to enjoy the A blockers company, they're somewhat funny ^_^. Come to think of it, my ex-crush still talks to me and he actually cares ^_^ hahaha... maybe it's just his responsibility. My gash, he's really cute! Even the guys from our block admitted that he is the cutest guy from A-block! (heheh)
----
It's Chami's birthday today and I gave her quite a surprise ^_^ and a white beautiful lily ^_^. It was an interesting party ^_^ in PGP. ^_^
--- tata!---
God bless! ¶ 2:30 AM 0 comments
Saturday, August 13, 2005
unsatiable
This is a pretty serious entry.
But I have to digress first.
Anyway, yesterday we had this A block initiation thingy, and these fellow A blockers loved the dish Amanda and I prepared. It was good I think, crepes stuff. The super senior Gerald helped me distribute it, and we named it with several not-attractive-at-all names i.e. sandwiches, beansprout sandwiches, cucumber prata, beansprout prata, shuillullavallum, and other beansprout whatever. Hehe. But the thng is, they don't have beansprout at all nor cucumber, they have a lot of cheese and meat and some veges and secret ingredients ^_^.
I bluffed a lot. Played with freshies the way the seniors played with freshies last year. I observed that no matter how dull things are, they can get exciting through psychological orientation. It's actually really true that everything's just in the mind. I also had a little chitchat with this guy named Peter, exchange student, American cit., Korean, from California and interestingly have been to the US army for 3 years. I met some freshies in my floor, ate some chiken divine, a very delicious chocolate moist cake, cheese shlongs, fry lyes (fried rice), potato and pasta salad ^_^, onion rings, cheese cake, mud pie, banana choc, and this other chocolate dish. Got a full tummy afterwards! ^_^. Geez Im just glad that my big legs endure quite a jog, I improved compared to last year when I was just catching my breath halfway the jog.^_^. Maybe I'm meant to be sporty but too psychologically hindered to go for it.
In the good side, and far out as well, I like my room! It's really windy especially when I leave my door and windows open! Cool breeze! yeah ^_^
---------------unsatiable-------------------
I feel this certain kind of remorse. For myself mostly. Why have I gotten myself on this kind of mess? Everybody seems to know what they are doing but me. I don't know! I'm half desperate and half discouraged, always dwelling in the gray areas. I got no where to go. I don't like this.
My dreams are gone in my heart, thanks to the great confusion. I must have misunderstood things. I'm falling off the cliff and I need someone to grab me back. But who? As if someone knows how anyway, even I don't. Besides, everyone's too busy too care, even I'm too busy to care for myself. I'm just too distracted. Lost.
Anyway, back to the great confusion. I guess it must have been distorting me for ages. It has been with me since I opted to have a deeper relationship with Him, which is like 2 years ago. Beliefs of people were incorporated into mine, however, maybe due to imperfections, they have created turmoil in my mind. During the process, I lost my dreams and ambitions. Now, I'm just lying to myself that they are still my dreams but the truth is, there is already no substance in them. They're gone.
I want to blame those people. I want to tell them "look what you have done to me!. I don't find any other meaning in me, I'm a coward to evangelize and now since I find that my dreams are no longer worth doing, what should be done? Honestly, I'd rather be that old driven me who finds future in my dreams; I was on my way back then.However, I have another dream now, that is for the Lord, but I feel to weak for that. Not driven at all. I lost the future... maybe..."
But you see, I couldn't blame them. They're actually better individuals than I am. Better believers I daresay. I am but a puny little creature trying to advance myself in that spiritual realm, where we are all meant to be and where we can be truly be satisfied. But like I said before, I'm dwindling in the gray areas, which is similar to nowhere.
Maybe this time around, I am alone, for I have isolated myself. I left without even thinking.
The reason why I have been slacking now is because I'm too confused. I'm mourning for those dreams. Something can be done but it hasn't been revealed to me yet. I wish to be saved again.
This is the feeling when I was supposed to be in the right path but gone astray, confused and always unsatiable until I find my way back again.
------------------ ¶ 2:33 PM 0 comments
But I have to digress first.
Anyway, yesterday we had this A block initiation thingy, and these fellow A blockers loved the dish Amanda and I prepared. It was good I think, crepes stuff. The super senior Gerald helped me distribute it, and we named it with several not-attractive-at-all names i.e. sandwiches, beansprout sandwiches, cucumber prata, beansprout prata, shuillullavallum, and other beansprout whatever. Hehe. But the thng is, they don't have beansprout at all nor cucumber, they have a lot of cheese and meat and some veges and secret ingredients ^_^.
I bluffed a lot. Played with freshies the way the seniors played with freshies last year. I observed that no matter how dull things are, they can get exciting through psychological orientation. It's actually really true that everything's just in the mind. I also had a little chitchat with this guy named Peter, exchange student, American cit., Korean, from California and interestingly have been to the US army for 3 years. I met some freshies in my floor, ate some chiken divine, a very delicious chocolate moist cake, cheese shlongs, fry lyes (fried rice), potato and pasta salad ^_^, onion rings, cheese cake, mud pie, banana choc, and this other chocolate dish. Got a full tummy afterwards! ^_^. Geez Im just glad that my big legs endure quite a jog, I improved compared to last year when I was just catching my breath halfway the jog.^_^. Maybe I'm meant to be sporty but too psychologically hindered to go for it.
In the good side, and far out as well, I like my room! It's really windy especially when I leave my door and windows open! Cool breeze! yeah ^_^
---------------unsatiable-------------------
I feel this certain kind of remorse. For myself mostly. Why have I gotten myself on this kind of mess? Everybody seems to know what they are doing but me. I don't know! I'm half desperate and half discouraged, always dwelling in the gray areas. I got no where to go. I don't like this.
My dreams are gone in my heart, thanks to the great confusion. I must have misunderstood things. I'm falling off the cliff and I need someone to grab me back. But who? As if someone knows how anyway, even I don't. Besides, everyone's too busy too care, even I'm too busy to care for myself. I'm just too distracted. Lost.
Anyway, back to the great confusion. I guess it must have been distorting me for ages. It has been with me since I opted to have a deeper relationship with Him, which is like 2 years ago. Beliefs of people were incorporated into mine, however, maybe due to imperfections, they have created turmoil in my mind. During the process, I lost my dreams and ambitions. Now, I'm just lying to myself that they are still my dreams but the truth is, there is already no substance in them. They're gone.
I want to blame those people. I want to tell them "look what you have done to me!. I don't find any other meaning in me, I'm a coward to evangelize and now since I find that my dreams are no longer worth doing, what should be done? Honestly, I'd rather be that old driven me who finds future in my dreams; I was on my way back then.However, I have another dream now, that is for the Lord, but I feel to weak for that. Not driven at all. I lost the future... maybe..."
But you see, I couldn't blame them. They're actually better individuals than I am. Better believers I daresay. I am but a puny little creature trying to advance myself in that spiritual realm, where we are all meant to be and where we can be truly be satisfied. But like I said before, I'm dwindling in the gray areas, which is similar to nowhere.
Maybe this time around, I am alone, for I have isolated myself. I left without even thinking.
The reason why I have been slacking now is because I'm too confused. I'm mourning for those dreams. Something can be done but it hasn't been revealed to me yet. I wish to be saved again.
This is the feeling when I was supposed to be in the right path but gone astray, confused and always unsatiable until I find my way back again.
------------------ ¶ 2:33 PM 0 comments
Thursday, August 11, 2005
when will I ever learn?
I'm currently an anime addict. I hope this is just a fad and will soon fade away before everything else falls into a real mess. I can't help admiring the stories, they're not just for young kids or kids at heart although they maybe cartoonish to everybody else in this world. The stories have sense. One can even witness the idealism of the story writer and see the intricate details of his/her belief. The animation just serves as something open even to the impossible, where the ideals of a writer are never limited except that everything are just pieces of drawings and water colors. I like the animes I'm watching because of the characters, and through their very own imperfections and search for worth in this world, they were able to see the importance of friendship and the desire of human to have companionship around. The quest for reason of existence, and how a person fights for his/her ideals that rooted from life-changing experiences residing in the past. As well as how they battle loneliness, as it has been darkness for them. etc etc etc. They actually make more sense than some movies I've seen, and they teach better lessons as well. ^_^ That's why I like animes. In consolation, the characters look good! ^_^
----
Somebody once told me that my worst enemy is myself. I couldn't help but agree. Self-control being the hardest to learn, I'm continually battling this self who wants to be entertained at the moment. I know if I overdo being obsessed doing things other than concentrating for school, I am going nowhere. I don't even eat my daily bread and no longer heavily willed to make time for it. Sigh... I miss the self I was back then, when I couldn't imagine having a good day without knowing something about Him more. I want her back! Where could she be?
Ate Karen told me to stop this nonsense. Actually, I wish I could but I still want! =/ speaking of self-control again. Anyway, I'll be meeting up with her mom and younger sis later.^_^ And I must watch the lecture I've missed today.
Oh well... It is really true that my toughest enemy is myself! But then again she has always been my companion #_#. Maybe a bad one sometimes (errr... most of the time?).
God bless everyone! ¶ 6:56 PM 0 comments
----
Somebody once told me that my worst enemy is myself. I couldn't help but agree. Self-control being the hardest to learn, I'm continually battling this self who wants to be entertained at the moment. I know if I overdo being obsessed doing things other than concentrating for school, I am going nowhere. I don't even eat my daily bread and no longer heavily willed to make time for it. Sigh... I miss the self I was back then, when I couldn't imagine having a good day without knowing something about Him more. I want her back! Where could she be?
Ate Karen told me to stop this nonsense. Actually, I wish I could but I still want! =/ speaking of self-control again. Anyway, I'll be meeting up with her mom and younger sis later.^_^ And I must watch the lecture I've missed today.
Oh well... It is really true that my toughest enemy is myself! But then again she has always been my companion #_#. Maybe a bad one sometimes (errr... most of the time?).
God bless everyone! ¶ 6:56 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
sheesh... i guess im a prisoner of myself!
I've been fooling around, spending my whole day watching Naruto episodes. If ever there is some progress in what I do, that would be I've finished watching up to episode 103 of Naruto and it was still not enough. The situation in that series isn't over yet, but I told myself to no longer watch the continuation. I'll just leave it for the weekend. I only have episodes up tp 131, but hopefully I could borrow michael's copies of the later episodes. naruto is quite interesting, but then again more animes are coming up, Gundam seed they say is interesting, as well as Bleach. I have seen a dollsr worth of Naruto key chains in Boon Lay though, they were nice but I refused to buy because they might worsen up this addiction. I'm not even finding time to read the bible! Geeesh...
funga fufu...
So to compensate that emptiness from forbidding myself of watching episode 104, I watched the shaman king special instead... Well it actually cooled me down although the episode wasn't really that entertaining... I've apparently seen the ending, I was not aware that the one I downloaded first was the finale. Sorry me. But I guess watching the ending of full metal alchemist (coz that time I've only watched 1-26, ending ep is 51) was the more treacherous thing. I was aware and I was tempted. Some friend of mine even named me " the great spoiler" for doing such a forbidden thing ^_^. Well, maybe I guess I just can't help it!
... yeah, I can't help this sudden addiction that blossomed during my summer vacation. I don't think it's doing me some good. Self-control indeed is the hardest to attain. I lack that badly now, and I need it. I want to go back to the path I left off before I went back to the Philippines. I admit, I slacked off and I'm hoping that I'll get back on track soon... real soon....=/ sigh....
I love my room though. ^_^ and i want to keep it for a longer time though... A301! A block!
Some seniors in this block (A) aren't that enthusiastic in inviting me to the block activities anymore, probably because I kept on rejecting them... sigh... I never really intended to do so, it is just that until now, I find it hard to decide so for me, it is safer to say no than regret that I went out of my cove and be troubled. It's awful to be indecisive. I'm not even thinking properly. I can't also help this....
Sigh... It has always been like this. Makes me wonder how long will I be like this?
I think the best thing I can do now is sleep. Lack of sleep probably must be the reason I'm acting like this since I cannot think well. So, ja! I'm going to sleep!
funga fufu! ¶ 7:25 PM 0 comments
funga fufu...
So to compensate that emptiness from forbidding myself of watching episode 104, I watched the shaman king special instead... Well it actually cooled me down although the episode wasn't really that entertaining... I've apparently seen the ending, I was not aware that the one I downloaded first was the finale. Sorry me. But I guess watching the ending of full metal alchemist (coz that time I've only watched 1-26, ending ep is 51) was the more treacherous thing. I was aware and I was tempted. Some friend of mine even named me " the great spoiler" for doing such a forbidden thing ^_^. Well, maybe I guess I just can't help it!
... yeah, I can't help this sudden addiction that blossomed during my summer vacation. I don't think it's doing me some good. Self-control indeed is the hardest to attain. I lack that badly now, and I need it. I want to go back to the path I left off before I went back to the Philippines. I admit, I slacked off and I'm hoping that I'll get back on track soon... real soon....=/ sigh....
I love my room though. ^_^ and i want to keep it for a longer time though... A301! A block!
Some seniors in this block (A) aren't that enthusiastic in inviting me to the block activities anymore, probably because I kept on rejecting them... sigh... I never really intended to do so, it is just that until now, I find it hard to decide so for me, it is safer to say no than regret that I went out of my cove and be troubled. It's awful to be indecisive. I'm not even thinking properly. I can't also help this....
Sigh... It has always been like this. Makes me wonder how long will I be like this?
I think the best thing I can do now is sleep. Lack of sleep probably must be the reason I'm acting like this since I cannot think well. So, ja! I'm going to sleep!
funga fufu! ¶ 7:25 PM 0 comments
Friday, August 05, 2005
nothin much
yey! i just finished unpacking my clothes! but i still have one more big box to go! my notes, which I shall call craps in this blog! craps of paper that have been very useful to me but now I'm finding it hard where to place them. I don't want my room to look like some storage for a lot of files. I'm glad though that I can rid some of them through Jason ^_^.
joseph and i had breakfast with Carinna (haha not sure how to spell though ^_^) and her parents, nice to know that her parents are helping her out to adjust here. I hope she'll have a pleasant stay.
I have learned that there are also quite a number of Filipinos this time around although I haven't met all of them.
Joseph told me earlier that I had an exam last year that I didn't study for. Hmmm, I doubt it though because I'd be crying then if I really haven't touched the module at all. Maybe that paper is some midterm or maybe that module is something I haven't really studied and therefore, I wasn't confident about taking the exam; but I'm quite sure I did study something. Haha, i cannot remember which module though ^_^. But I'm pretty sure as well that there was this time when I was playing this rpg game and failed to study for some assessment.
Oh well, I just hope to find a cheap phone!
God bless everybody! ¶ 9:49 AM 0 comments
joseph and i had breakfast with Carinna (haha not sure how to spell though ^_^) and her parents, nice to know that her parents are helping her out to adjust here. I hope she'll have a pleasant stay.
I have learned that there are also quite a number of Filipinos this time around although I haven't met all of them.
Joseph told me earlier that I had an exam last year that I didn't study for. Hmmm, I doubt it though because I'd be crying then if I really haven't touched the module at all. Maybe that paper is some midterm or maybe that module is something I haven't really studied and therefore, I wasn't confident about taking the exam; but I'm quite sure I did study something. Haha, i cannot remember which module though ^_^. But I'm pretty sure as well that there was this time when I was playing this rpg game and failed to study for some assessment.
Oh well, I just hope to find a cheap phone!
God bless everybody! ¶ 9:49 AM 0 comments
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
back in SG
yeah... well, unfortunately, i got a broken phone. Battery is already down and useless. I can't use my sim and I'm phoneless! I'm not even willing to spend bucks on another phone, if i would, for my third year in this country, it would be the third time for me to buy new phones! I don't like that to happen, well, at least not at my own cost. Haha. ^_^ maybe i can do well with a 3315 or better nokia 5110! haha. I remember Jops and Merge (hi skul friends) were bragging that to me, i mean, they actually told me that 5110 could serve me well without worrying about the cost of losing one. Besides, i'm one of those typical individuals who sees mobile phones as something used for smsing or callin only. But I'm just wondering, where can I find a 5110 for sale here? ^_^. I don't fancy camera phones at the moment, not while I don't have my own job yet although my mom was willing to give up her camera phone for me... aww... she told me that when I'm already in spore... haha... well some things just can't be foreseen but I'm not so sad about it. Maybe not at all... big deal! ^_^
Oh yeah, when I was in Manila I met my distant relatives (4th degree or so), pretty twins I daresay, pretty funny too. I also admit they got a cute older brother (hahaha) who got the same birthday as my ex-crush. ^_^... I'm just wondrin, it must be really nice to have a twin around ^_^. Unfortunately, I didn't get to know their brother even just as a close acquaintance.
I just realized the kind of guy i like. He was just actually under my nose! (nope not from NUS). But then at present, we can't be "us" for many many valid reasons. He's not too handsome, he got the character I like of a guy, and he may be annoying but I enjoy even more when he's actually getting irritating. Odd right? But I guess we could get along well because when I'm around him I can just laugh things off and blurt things out. I feel free yet tamed ^_^... Hahaha... I know this sounds weird because I typically don't write things like these, but I guess this is just one of those hormones again.
I'm back but I guess I have to take care of many things...
Glad to be back somehow ;)
carpe diem! ¶ 7:04 PM 1 comments
Oh yeah, when I was in Manila I met my distant relatives (4th degree or so), pretty twins I daresay, pretty funny too. I also admit they got a cute older brother (hahaha) who got the same birthday as my ex-crush. ^_^... I'm just wondrin, it must be really nice to have a twin around ^_^. Unfortunately, I didn't get to know their brother even just as a close acquaintance.
I just realized the kind of guy i like. He was just actually under my nose! (nope not from NUS). But then at present, we can't be "us" for many many valid reasons. He's not too handsome, he got the character I like of a guy, and he may be annoying but I enjoy even more when he's actually getting irritating. Odd right? But I guess we could get along well because when I'm around him I can just laugh things off and blurt things out. I feel free yet tamed ^_^... Hahaha... I know this sounds weird because I typically don't write things like these, but I guess this is just one of those hormones again.
I'm back but I guess I have to take care of many things...
Glad to be back somehow ;)
carpe diem! ¶ 7:04 PM 1 comments
