tEa TiMe!!!
Monday, May 23, 2005
summer winter
May 23, 2005
Hello everyone!
I’m here again and I tell you this one is a very long post because I hardly could get online. I still have to ask permission to get connected. But for this one, it’s only a steal of ten minutes, I just hope it doesn’t create much difference.
I appended on this post the “posts” I’m supposed to post ages ago. Anyway, those were of different emotional states but still I opted to post them for me to reminisce. I’m not fond of deleting stupid posts (like my may 14’s ^_^). I want to keep them to remind myself and maybe even for those who also want to be reminded ^_^.
For the past two days my relatives and me (a lone representative of my family) went camping on this place higher than the Eden Toril “resort and recreation” place. It was really cool because it was my first time to actually feel fog like it was thick smoke running in front of your face, in fact, in front of my whole body! I have seen fog in person but they were always been at a distance from me. And we played volleyball! Sloped it may have been, my team lost thrice (out of four)! Hehe it was quite unfair because it was bagets vs. forgets, and we have to “believe” the older people’s deception that a ball is out or in (esp. when it is a line ball) in their favor although it could have been our ball. Hehe. Anyway, I had fun and the game was an improvement compared to the last time we played in Dumoy, a beach resort in Toril as well, where we got defeated effortlessly.
We also visited Eden Toril for quite a while, the swimming pool was cold so we only dipped around 15-30 minutes and then we left off for the Indiana Jones. It was similar to the “thing” West Coast Playground have.
During our camping, I realized that when you come from a very hot place to a naturally cold one, a natural cold temperature is severely piercing. It gave me a bad headache.
The place was really cold that almost everyone covered their bodies, i.e. my aunt wore two sweaters and a t-shirt, two pants, socks and rubber shoes (then slippers). It was that cold, and we even have to sleep inside the car closedàit was my aunt’s land cruiser so 5 people were able to sleep well enough (since tents for us are a lot colder, but the “4gets” slept there with the younger children).
I practically enjoyed. Hopefully we will be coming back there on the 11th of June (to cool off ourselves again) ^_^.
And by Wednesday hopefully we will be traveling for Bohol to meet my never-before-seen relatives, the main reason why I opted to go home. Sana the meeting would be nice. Please I had enough troubles, I had another one kasi last night when I came back….
Sige! God bless!
P.S.
Oh Lord! Thanks! At least I’m having some form of rest here =).
P.S.S.
My bestfriend visited me and my mom yesterday. It was a relief =)
here are some photos:
me, cha and ate gin
just the 2 of us
May 14, 2005
Hay, it’s been four days since I last read Your Word oh Lord.
Korinna went back in the Phil instead because her family missed her. It was a good realization for her in fact because she realized that family is more important than money. Indeed, she was “blinded” by the want of more spare cash remembering that she mentioned once how much she envied Wayne for having a good deal of money on his bank account. As for me, I actually wish I was back there on the look out for a job at least I could help out my family financially. Now is the time we need that much. And I just changed my mind set about money. We need money for mom’s cure (in an easier way since we also have “harder” means to do so). We need money for a better life… Oh Lord is this right? Is this what you want me to realize?
Oh Lord I need your strength. I am being defeated by our house’ structure, by idleness, by sadness, by everything that’s preventing me from growing in You… Oh Lord help me!
May 10, 2005, 2:00 pm
Well, yesterday, May 9 was a whirlwind of events.
First, I realized something “awful” for my part; however, it was mine to keep…
Second, when I came home, it wasn’t a surprise. The news got leaked. Sigh, I should have asked the cooperation of all those people back in S’pore not to tell anyone. Whoever told my mom that I was in Manila, I felt a temporal hatred for that person. But pathetic, that hatred should be due to me because I never really informed everyone my plans so it was breached.
Third, my mom got cancer and the healing process is more than financially draining. We also have to deal with my mom’s pessimistic view of life.
The last one was the most horrible. We, me and my ate, technically spent the whole day looking after and assisting our mom to different doctors and from place to place... It was a very long day that I even forgot that I came back on that same day. On the back of my mind I kept thinking that I came back a day ago. Shux, I wonder if it was denial at work…
I failed to read God’s word in 3 days already. There was also even a time when I questioned God a lot, esp. why others seemed to have a better life than me, that they remain untroubled compared to how troubled I am all throughout my 18 years of existence. Life is unfair. God is good.
But I believe it is still God at work. I know what particular traits in me that He is trying to cut off… But why? Why does it had to be this kind of way oh Lord? Unbearable? I know Lord, you never place us in a situation where we cannot handle. But Lord… help!
I do not know what to do. I wish I never came back here. I wish that I didn’t board the plane but rather went off with Kor, Josh and Ferron for job hunting. My Aunt would certainly understand why I cannot meet her and my Lola too…
Sigh… Oh May 9 was quite a stricken day. Or really I might be a stricken person. I thank God for all of this. I know He will carry us through. I believe He will because He always will and He always does.
God bless you all!
P.S.
I’m very proud of my Ate Lovecell… She simply is the best and I love her so much!
May 7, 7:05 pm
Believe it or not I’m writing this while I’m on my way to Manila from Clark. Sigh, I’m taking the bus. And as surely as the Lord lives, He is saving me in every struggle I face in this long journey back home.
I’m in seat fourteen just next to an empty seat thirteen; I guess these people are quite superstitious with numbers, thanks to them, I got one vacant seat next to mine where I could put my back pack and jacket to lie idle on. In fairness, the bus left on time, an improvement I daresay. ^_^. I just hope we won’t get caught up on a traffic jam… The bus is philtranco by the way… and I guess I am given the chance to view Pampangga to Manila at night (I’ve never been to other parts of Luzon except Manila FYI, so practically speaking, now I’ve been to other parts! Other than Manila! Hehehe). Inside a fully-air-conditioned bus with a vacant seat all left for my use, I’m viewing all what can be viewed other than my momentary glimpse on the computer screen while writing this. Coolness, I’m writing based on my current emotional state and experience. However, it is biased because my situation might as well give me a good opinion about the place… maybe I’m just a little paranoid. ^_^
We stopped! Gosh! How I wish this was nonstop! #_#...
Minutes later…
Okay that was just transient… The bus slowed down because we passed by some terminal with many bustling people on the street.
I just spotted a school! How I miss schools in the phil!...
Wow… 9 months sure have nurtured this excitement in me. I’m glad to be back
Chowking…waaa! Jollibee on the window scene! Ack! I’m home! #_#
Can you believe this? I’ll be eating Jollibee again! Wahahaha… if appetite still calls for the western type food with Filipino twist, I might opt for Jollibee and I guess whoever I’m with, whether that person is sick and tired of Jollibee, will have no choice but to dine with me. I will insist! And I will order palabok fiesta for Ferron ^_^. (indeed this happened the day after so Ferron! I got myself a good tasting palabok fiesta!)
Anyway, I better stop and enjoy the part of Luzon that I’ve never been into!
Ciao!
God bless!
And to all my part-timer friends in Singapore, jia you! And enjoy! =). You made a wise choice =). But then, just hang on there ya? Working is tough when it get its toll on you. Even I was struggling even though I just worked on weekends. I guess, overused it might be, we should learn to love our work. Else, it would be a gradual torture that torments us slowly to insanity. #_#. Be patient and I will pray for your good welfare!
Take care! ¶ 9:46 AM 2 comments
Hello everyone!
I’m here again and I tell you this one is a very long post because I hardly could get online. I still have to ask permission to get connected. But for this one, it’s only a steal of ten minutes, I just hope it doesn’t create much difference.
I appended on this post the “posts” I’m supposed to post ages ago. Anyway, those were of different emotional states but still I opted to post them for me to reminisce. I’m not fond of deleting stupid posts (like my may 14’s ^_^). I want to keep them to remind myself and maybe even for those who also want to be reminded ^_^.
For the past two days my relatives and me (a lone representative of my family) went camping on this place higher than the Eden Toril “resort and recreation” place. It was really cool because it was my first time to actually feel fog like it was thick smoke running in front of your face, in fact, in front of my whole body! I have seen fog in person but they were always been at a distance from me. And we played volleyball! Sloped it may have been, my team lost thrice (out of four)! Hehe it was quite unfair because it was bagets vs. forgets, and we have to “believe” the older people’s deception that a ball is out or in (esp. when it is a line ball) in their favor although it could have been our ball. Hehe. Anyway, I had fun and the game was an improvement compared to the last time we played in Dumoy, a beach resort in Toril as well, where we got defeated effortlessly.
We also visited Eden Toril for quite a while, the swimming pool was cold so we only dipped around 15-30 minutes and then we left off for the Indiana Jones. It was similar to the “thing” West Coast Playground have.
During our camping, I realized that when you come from a very hot place to a naturally cold one, a natural cold temperature is severely piercing. It gave me a bad headache.
The place was really cold that almost everyone covered their bodies, i.e. my aunt wore two sweaters and a t-shirt, two pants, socks and rubber shoes (then slippers). It was that cold, and we even have to sleep inside the car closedàit was my aunt’s land cruiser so 5 people were able to sleep well enough (since tents for us are a lot colder, but the “4gets” slept there with the younger children).
I practically enjoyed. Hopefully we will be coming back there on the 11th of June (to cool off ourselves again) ^_^.
And by Wednesday hopefully we will be traveling for Bohol to meet my never-before-seen relatives, the main reason why I opted to go home. Sana the meeting would be nice. Please I had enough troubles, I had another one kasi last night when I came back….
Sige! God bless!
P.S.
Oh Lord! Thanks! At least I’m having some form of rest here =).
P.S.S.
My bestfriend visited me and my mom yesterday. It was a relief =)
here are some photos:
me, cha and ate gin
just the 2 of usMay 14, 2005
Hay, it’s been four days since I last read Your Word oh Lord.
Korinna went back in the Phil instead because her family missed her. It was a good realization for her in fact because she realized that family is more important than money. Indeed, she was “blinded” by the want of more spare cash remembering that she mentioned once how much she envied Wayne for having a good deal of money on his bank account. As for me, I actually wish I was back there on the look out for a job at least I could help out my family financially. Now is the time we need that much. And I just changed my mind set about money. We need money for mom’s cure (in an easier way since we also have “harder” means to do so). We need money for a better life… Oh Lord is this right? Is this what you want me to realize?
Oh Lord I need your strength. I am being defeated by our house’ structure, by idleness, by sadness, by everything that’s preventing me from growing in You… Oh Lord help me!
May 10, 2005, 2:00 pm
Well, yesterday, May 9 was a whirlwind of events.
First, I realized something “awful” for my part; however, it was mine to keep…
Second, when I came home, it wasn’t a surprise. The news got leaked. Sigh, I should have asked the cooperation of all those people back in S’pore not to tell anyone. Whoever told my mom that I was in Manila, I felt a temporal hatred for that person. But pathetic, that hatred should be due to me because I never really informed everyone my plans so it was breached.
Third, my mom got cancer and the healing process is more than financially draining. We also have to deal with my mom’s pessimistic view of life.
The last one was the most horrible. We, me and my ate, technically spent the whole day looking after and assisting our mom to different doctors and from place to place... It was a very long day that I even forgot that I came back on that same day. On the back of my mind I kept thinking that I came back a day ago. Shux, I wonder if it was denial at work…
I failed to read God’s word in 3 days already. There was also even a time when I questioned God a lot, esp. why others seemed to have a better life than me, that they remain untroubled compared to how troubled I am all throughout my 18 years of existence. Life is unfair. God is good.
But I believe it is still God at work. I know what particular traits in me that He is trying to cut off… But why? Why does it had to be this kind of way oh Lord? Unbearable? I know Lord, you never place us in a situation where we cannot handle. But Lord… help!
I do not know what to do. I wish I never came back here. I wish that I didn’t board the plane but rather went off with Kor, Josh and Ferron for job hunting. My Aunt would certainly understand why I cannot meet her and my Lola too…
Sigh… Oh May 9 was quite a stricken day. Or really I might be a stricken person. I thank God for all of this. I know He will carry us through. I believe He will because He always will and He always does.
God bless you all!
P.S.
I’m very proud of my Ate Lovecell… She simply is the best and I love her so much!
May 7, 7:05 pm
Believe it or not I’m writing this while I’m on my way to Manila from Clark. Sigh, I’m taking the bus. And as surely as the Lord lives, He is saving me in every struggle I face in this long journey back home.
I’m in seat fourteen just next to an empty seat thirteen; I guess these people are quite superstitious with numbers, thanks to them, I got one vacant seat next to mine where I could put my back pack and jacket to lie idle on. In fairness, the bus left on time, an improvement I daresay. ^_^. I just hope we won’t get caught up on a traffic jam… The bus is philtranco by the way… and I guess I am given the chance to view Pampangga to Manila at night (I’ve never been to other parts of Luzon except Manila FYI, so practically speaking, now I’ve been to other parts! Other than Manila! Hehehe). Inside a fully-air-conditioned bus with a vacant seat all left for my use, I’m viewing all what can be viewed other than my momentary glimpse on the computer screen while writing this. Coolness, I’m writing based on my current emotional state and experience. However, it is biased because my situation might as well give me a good opinion about the place… maybe I’m just a little paranoid. ^_^
We stopped! Gosh! How I wish this was nonstop! #_#...
Minutes later…
Okay that was just transient… The bus slowed down because we passed by some terminal with many bustling people on the street.
I just spotted a school! How I miss schools in the phil!...
Wow… 9 months sure have nurtured this excitement in me. I’m glad to be back
Chowking…waaa! Jollibee on the window scene! Ack! I’m home! #_#
Can you believe this? I’ll be eating Jollibee again! Wahahaha… if appetite still calls for the western type food with Filipino twist, I might opt for Jollibee and I guess whoever I’m with, whether that person is sick and tired of Jollibee, will have no choice but to dine with me. I will insist! And I will order palabok fiesta for Ferron ^_^. (indeed this happened the day after so Ferron! I got myself a good tasting palabok fiesta!)
Anyway, I better stop and enjoy the part of Luzon that I’ve never been into!
Ciao!
God bless!
And to all my part-timer friends in Singapore, jia you! And enjoy! =). You made a wise choice =). But then, just hang on there ya? Working is tough when it get its toll on you. Even I was struggling even though I just worked on weekends. I guess, overused it might be, we should learn to love our work. Else, it would be a gradual torture that torments us slowly to insanity. #_#. Be patient and I will pray for your good welfare!
Take care! ¶ 9:46 AM 2 comments
Saturday, May 14, 2005
summer fall
freakin...
i am utterly disappointed with myself...
yes, I see myself stagnant at home. We can't just leave home because of mom's condition although she already hired a new helper (honestly, we disliked helpers and in fact it was quite a disappointment for me to hear the news... anyway, so far, it's quite ok... since i', beginning to feel lazy...)... what's really worse is that i cannot go to Bohol with my sister. I will have to wait for my big bro and go there with him and then go back to davao alone... Heck, I'm freakin tired of travelling long distances alone... But neways, i got no choice... I would just have to buckle up again and face it... I know He won't leave me alone although I fear I'm facing this declining growth again... Sigh... I don't like this... not at all... Mom must undergo 6 months of chemotherapy... Rumors say that after chemo, you'd be utterly weak, sometimes you vomit etc... Chemo targets fast growing cells (one of them are carcinoma cells, hair, white blood cells (?????) etc)... So other than getting bald you have to be isolated from all the dirt in the world...heh...
Sad life... as in...
Worse, because of all these things, I'm getting fat...haha....
Even worse, dang.. why does past had to haunt me again? why does it had to leave me empty and evaded? Why do these hormones overdo everything?
Sigh... I just hope others are okay... At least I only have to worry 'bout my family... =)... haize....
Adios! ¶ 2:35 PM 0 comments
i am utterly disappointed with myself...
yes, I see myself stagnant at home. We can't just leave home because of mom's condition although she already hired a new helper (honestly, we disliked helpers and in fact it was quite a disappointment for me to hear the news... anyway, so far, it's quite ok... since i', beginning to feel lazy...)... what's really worse is that i cannot go to Bohol with my sister. I will have to wait for my big bro and go there with him and then go back to davao alone... Heck, I'm freakin tired of travelling long distances alone... But neways, i got no choice... I would just have to buckle up again and face it... I know He won't leave me alone although I fear I'm facing this declining growth again... Sigh... I don't like this... not at all... Mom must undergo 6 months of chemotherapy... Rumors say that after chemo, you'd be utterly weak, sometimes you vomit etc... Chemo targets fast growing cells (one of them are carcinoma cells, hair, white blood cells (?????) etc)... So other than getting bald you have to be isolated from all the dirt in the world...heh...
Sad life... as in...
Worse, because of all these things, I'm getting fat...haha....
Even worse, dang.. why does past had to haunt me again? why does it had to leave me empty and evaded? Why do these hormones overdo everything?
Sigh... I just hope others are okay... At least I only have to worry 'bout my family... =)... haize....
Adios! ¶ 2:35 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Saturday, May 07, 2005
thank God *_*
hehe... My Lord used a friend to save me from insanity. A while ago I was downcast for my irresponsibility, He saved me through my friend Chami. =)
How I wish I could be confident enough to share the Gospel with her... sigh...
Anyway, I thank God for saving me from my worries!
God bless!
p.s.
My next post would be posted from the Philippines! Home!
thanks everyone! =) ¶ 2:44 AM 0 comments
How I wish I could be confident enough to share the Gospel with her... sigh...
Anyway, I thank God for saving me from my worries!
God bless!
p.s.
My next post would be posted from the Philippines! Home!
thanks everyone! =) ¶ 2:44 AM 0 comments
crap
sigh... i should be glad but i feel crappy...
first of all, no hall office on saturdays! how am i supposed to check out? next is the room check? uh oh... my flight's today and I can't possibly wait for monday to get all things done! my only hope is to ask Kor to do it for me. Hope I didn't incur any damages or whatever, but Im sure I will have to pay for the late night opening of my "locked" door when apparently i left it locked and my mutilated matric card inside, so i have to take into account the money i have to pay...sigh... i feel like collapsing. #_#.
silly... how could it ruin my mood for home?
oh Lord, I feel really crappy...
sigh... =( ¶ 2:19 AM 0 comments
first of all, no hall office on saturdays! how am i supposed to check out? next is the room check? uh oh... my flight's today and I can't possibly wait for monday to get all things done! my only hope is to ask Kor to do it for me. Hope I didn't incur any damages or whatever, but Im sure I will have to pay for the late night opening of my "locked" door when apparently i left it locked and my mutilated matric card inside, so i have to take into account the money i have to pay...sigh... i feel like collapsing. #_#.
silly... how could it ruin my mood for home?
oh Lord, I feel really crappy...
sigh... =( ¶ 2:19 AM 0 comments
Friday, May 06, 2005
Going home tomorrow may 7, 2:30 pm
Prayers for my safe trip would be highly appreciated ^_^.
Prayers for my friends' job acceptance (Inc. Interviews, etc) would be delightful. ^_^
Prayers for everybody's spiritual growth would be wonderful. ^_^
Prayers for the world's salvation would be noble. ^_^
Ferron, Josh, Karen and Korinna went off clubbing! =) hope they'd enjoy! =) with Arthur and Nestor later =)
Me? Packing ^_^. Heh it's my 3rd day packing! hahaha... I spent the whole afternoon shopping for my kuya's cap and spending time with my mom's friend, her daughter and their cute, obedient son, Zachary. Real cute! Swear! I never really appreciated playing with a child until now. He's so sweet and naughty at the same time. Maybe before I easily ran out of patient with naughty children, but how could I not notice their innocence? It's wonderful. =). It's either Zachy is different, or I'm just too blind to see. Oh, I can still remember how he calls me "Tita", it's so heart warming. ^_^. I'm gonna miss him even though I only saw him once. My mom's friend is cool too and way sexier than my mom! hahahaha...^_^
grabe... i can't meet my kuya's expectation.. a baseball cap... i got him a billabong cap instead... and it was way expensive than my initial budget... haiz... i just hope he appreciates it... it's not a baseball cap but it is stylish anyway, it might make him look cooler than with a baseball cap...hehehe...^_^
that's all... I didn't buy anything else for "pasalubong". sigh... no money... i'm just as good as broke, I hope the hall won't collect 200 dollars for reservation fee, else, im gonna be a real broke!
sigh, sometimes I wish I'm also staying with Kor and Josh to work here in S'pore. But, it's once in a lifetime opportunity to see my only grandparent left, and my aunt who gave me this laptop. And really, which is more worthwhile? Money or spending time with loved ones? Money can wait I guess. And it is not everything too.
My loved ones, and this opportunity of meeting them again is now or never. And my mom is recovering too... I just hope that even if I go home broke, it will all be ok. and I hope not to encounter spiritual stagnantation...
Im feeling odd... It's indescribable... I dunno... This feeling I'm having is really... uhm, i really don't know...
life is odd... and it somehow gives me this odd feeling knowing that the prophesy in revelations are "predicted" to happen in my lifetime. Not that I believe those chain mails, but you see, no one knows. We should always be prepared... ¶ 11:26 PM 0 comments
Prayers for my friends' job acceptance (Inc. Interviews, etc) would be delightful. ^_^
Prayers for everybody's spiritual growth would be wonderful. ^_^
Prayers for the world's salvation would be noble. ^_^
Ferron, Josh, Karen and Korinna went off clubbing! =) hope they'd enjoy! =) with Arthur and Nestor later =)
Me? Packing ^_^. Heh it's my 3rd day packing! hahaha... I spent the whole afternoon shopping for my kuya's cap and spending time with my mom's friend, her daughter and their cute, obedient son, Zachary. Real cute! Swear! I never really appreciated playing with a child until now. He's so sweet and naughty at the same time. Maybe before I easily ran out of patient with naughty children, but how could I not notice their innocence? It's wonderful. =). It's either Zachy is different, or I'm just too blind to see. Oh, I can still remember how he calls me "Tita", it's so heart warming. ^_^. I'm gonna miss him even though I only saw him once. My mom's friend is cool too and way sexier than my mom! hahahaha...^_^
grabe... i can't meet my kuya's expectation.. a baseball cap... i got him a billabong cap instead... and it was way expensive than my initial budget... haiz... i just hope he appreciates it... it's not a baseball cap but it is stylish anyway, it might make him look cooler than with a baseball cap...hehehe...^_^
that's all... I didn't buy anything else for "pasalubong". sigh... no money... i'm just as good as broke, I hope the hall won't collect 200 dollars for reservation fee, else, im gonna be a real broke!
sigh, sometimes I wish I'm also staying with Kor and Josh to work here in S'pore. But, it's once in a lifetime opportunity to see my only grandparent left, and my aunt who gave me this laptop. And really, which is more worthwhile? Money or spending time with loved ones? Money can wait I guess. And it is not everything too.
My loved ones, and this opportunity of meeting them again is now or never. And my mom is recovering too... I just hope that even if I go home broke, it will all be ok. and I hope not to encounter spiritual stagnantation...
Im feeling odd... It's indescribable... I dunno... This feeling I'm having is really... uhm, i really don't know...
life is odd... and it somehow gives me this odd feeling knowing that the prophesy in revelations are "predicted" to happen in my lifetime. Not that I believe those chain mails, but you see, no one knows. We should always be prepared... ¶ 11:26 PM 0 comments
may 6!
the last day of finals! woohoo! i'm glad for those who will finally achieve their ultimate freedom from all those "killers". ^_^. It is sure freedom!
for this post, i'll try to write some sense...
but...uh... i forgot... a while ago thoughts were coming out #_#. Now, they're gone!
hehe neways, I'll discuss another topic instead.
I just noticed that a number of people are somewhat "worried" in their Christian life. Troubled that they cannot get what they want because they haven't experienced much and thus, the Lord can't bless them. OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. Well, I don't want to brag (and I'm not bragging either) but I have experienced some "hard" things in my life and I guess I should be the one "envying" for the comfort they are having.
First of all. DO NOT ask the Lord for such things to happen to you because you think you might grow better or might be blessed more after the rain. THE LORD KNOWS what He is doing; He is God and we as humans whose ways are way lower than His have "no right" (i do not know a more friendly phrase to use so I apologize if it sounds offensive) to tell Him what to do. You should be happy that the Lord is not allowing such things to happen to you. You should be glad because you are blessed with the kind of life or "training" where you are not troubled with physical and emotional troubles due to breached relationships etc, and those what you call "tough" trials i.e. death of a family member. You see, EVERYONE got their own special training for the special thing that God prepared for us. We just wait and let Him do His work because He will certainly finish what He has started in us. If you are sad because you are not getting what you want, there can be at least two things there. One, He doesn't allow it because He knows that it is not the best for you. Two, sometimes the calling of God comes from ourselves that we should not mistake it as some self-effort, in this case, He had to use us to get what our hearts have desired. If we are not open to Him, then most likely we'd become like those people who just wait under an apple tree for an apple to fall on their opened mouths to satisfy hunger. If we are them, we might end up eating worms! Or even watch it being eaten by the birds or taken by someone else who opted to climb the tree. It's a vain wait.
Do not let ourselves be troubled! It is our choice to worry, and choosing to do so, instead of doing more productive things, is an indication of not trusting the Lord enough. (Yes, i am also tellin this to myself.) Indeed, if we have fully placed our trust in the Lord, we would never worry and would choose not to if we are faced with the choice because everything is under His control and He perfectly knows what He is doing: things to prosper us and not to harm us. We just have to trust Him. We should worry in nothing. And also, do not worry about tomorrow because each day got enough troubles of its own. So, instead of worrying, why don't we make ourselves productive by knowing the Lord more, helping others, and solving "minor" daily problems that come our way. "Step by step we will move forward, little by little we will gain ground." Just let the Lord.
Again, do not ask the Lord or even give Him the hint. He already knows even before you realized it. He has set everything to happen in their own time. Else, if you keep thinking about it and even worrying, He might just give you. And I tell you, it could be something you'd never want to happen and it is not wise if we are laid with the option of experiencing them or not. It is just not wise to take the rough road if the two different paths end up on the same highway. Reall, why take the tougher? (hope you get what I mean because there can also be arguments "against" my claim in that same analogy I've used... The arguments are not in line with what I meant. Really...)
So that's that! Live life! Know Him and enjoy!
What profit do we get if we choose not to enjoy? Who wants to end up miserable in the end anyway?
God bless! ¶ 11:52 AM 0 comments
for this post, i'll try to write some sense...
but...uh... i forgot... a while ago thoughts were coming out #_#. Now, they're gone!
hehe neways, I'll discuss another topic instead.
I just noticed that a number of people are somewhat "worried" in their Christian life. Troubled that they cannot get what they want because they haven't experienced much and thus, the Lord can't bless them. OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. Well, I don't want to brag (and I'm not bragging either) but I have experienced some "hard" things in my life and I guess I should be the one "envying" for the comfort they are having.
First of all. DO NOT ask the Lord for such things to happen to you because you think you might grow better or might be blessed more after the rain. THE LORD KNOWS what He is doing; He is God and we as humans whose ways are way lower than His have "no right" (i do not know a more friendly phrase to use so I apologize if it sounds offensive) to tell Him what to do. You should be happy that the Lord is not allowing such things to happen to you. You should be glad because you are blessed with the kind of life or "training" where you are not troubled with physical and emotional troubles due to breached relationships etc, and those what you call "tough" trials i.e. death of a family member. You see, EVERYONE got their own special training for the special thing that God prepared for us. We just wait and let Him do His work because He will certainly finish what He has started in us. If you are sad because you are not getting what you want, there can be at least two things there. One, He doesn't allow it because He knows that it is not the best for you. Two, sometimes the calling of God comes from ourselves that we should not mistake it as some self-effort, in this case, He had to use us to get what our hearts have desired. If we are not open to Him, then most likely we'd become like those people who just wait under an apple tree for an apple to fall on their opened mouths to satisfy hunger. If we are them, we might end up eating worms! Or even watch it being eaten by the birds or taken by someone else who opted to climb the tree. It's a vain wait.
Do not let ourselves be troubled! It is our choice to worry, and choosing to do so, instead of doing more productive things, is an indication of not trusting the Lord enough. (Yes, i am also tellin this to myself.) Indeed, if we have fully placed our trust in the Lord, we would never worry and would choose not to if we are faced with the choice because everything is under His control and He perfectly knows what He is doing: things to prosper us and not to harm us. We just have to trust Him. We should worry in nothing. And also, do not worry about tomorrow because each day got enough troubles of its own. So, instead of worrying, why don't we make ourselves productive by knowing the Lord more, helping others, and solving "minor" daily problems that come our way. "Step by step we will move forward, little by little we will gain ground." Just let the Lord.
Again, do not ask the Lord or even give Him the hint. He already knows even before you realized it. He has set everything to happen in their own time. Else, if you keep thinking about it and even worrying, He might just give you. And I tell you, it could be something you'd never want to happen and it is not wise if we are laid with the option of experiencing them or not. It is just not wise to take the rough road if the two different paths end up on the same highway. Reall, why take the tougher? (hope you get what I mean because there can also be arguments "against" my claim in that same analogy I've used... The arguments are not in line with what I meant. Really...)
So that's that! Live life! Know Him and enjoy!
What profit do we get if we choose not to enjoy? Who wants to end up miserable in the end anyway?
God bless! ¶ 11:52 AM 0 comments
Thursday, May 05, 2005
yey....finally
okay... i will finally settle on this new template... Oh well... pink huh? pink is a shade of red! hehehe...
my errands for the day?
went to west coast park with my Vietnamese friend
grinning gecko with my Sri-Lankan friend
my room: finalizing this blog
central library couches: slept for 30 minutes
the rest of the day in my room: surfing the net...
sigh...
not productive... how I wish I was more guided...
I still must:
1. wash my clothes
2. shop for my kuya's cap
3. meet my mom's friend hopefully tomorrow afternoon
4. play badminton with chami tomorrow
5. pack and pack!
6. pray =)
anyway, enjoy everyone! three months vacation is sure long! ^_^ be productive!
God bless! ¶ 11:06 PM 0 comments
my errands for the day?
went to west coast park with my Vietnamese friend
grinning gecko with my Sri-Lankan friend
my room: finalizing this blog
central library couches: slept for 30 minutes
the rest of the day in my room: surfing the net...
sigh...
not productive... how I wish I was more guided...
I still must:
1. wash my clothes
2. shop for my kuya's cap
3. meet my mom's friend hopefully tomorrow afternoon
4. play badminton with chami tomorrow
5. pack and pack!
6. pray =)
anyway, enjoy everyone! three months vacation is sure long! ^_^ be productive!
God bless! ¶ 11:06 PM 0 comments
this is it
i'm not amazed with the color combi...errr... anyway, this design is final...haha...
maybe when I get to learn Java (IF!), i might start building from scratch and really create the page design that I want ^_^...
neways... no tagboard still! maybe later! ^_^ ¶ 7:57 PM 0 comments
maybe when I get to learn Java (IF!), i might start building from scratch and really create the page design that I want ^_^...
neways... no tagboard still! maybe later! ^_^ ¶ 7:57 PM 0 comments
yeah..i know...
sigh...
new skin... i edited a certain template and here... there are still some colors that im not able to change...so for the mean time just live with it! ehehe...Java...sigh... ¶ 3:31 PM 2 comments
new skin... i edited a certain template and here... there are still some colors that im not able to change...so for the mean time just live with it! ehehe...Java...sigh... ¶ 3:31 PM 2 comments
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
over
this blog needs refurbishing! but that wouldn't be any sooner...hehe
home is coming! este is home coming! este! is coming home soon!
ahhahahaha...
yeah, my friend just testified I was nuts after my marketing paper. Indeed, I admit I am nuts! and you know what? I love eating nuts!
bwahahahaha...
I also love the Lord! Can you believe that He carried me through all these? if you don't, then believe! eheh... despite all my clamourings and mournings, He stood by me when He could have been better off saying that He doesn't know me. Lovely! Oh what a wonder! Oh what love! ^_^ ¶ 10:59 PM 0 comments
home is coming! este is home coming! este! is coming home soon!
ahhahahaha...
yeah, my friend just testified I was nuts after my marketing paper. Indeed, I admit I am nuts! and you know what? I love eating nuts!
bwahahahaha...
I also love the Lord! Can you believe that He carried me through all these? if you don't, then believe! eheh... despite all my clamourings and mournings, He stood by me when He could have been better off saying that He doesn't know me. Lovely! Oh what a wonder! Oh what love! ^_^ ¶ 10:59 PM 0 comments
Monday, May 02, 2005
hay...
mental block? or blocked mentally? my head can't absorb anything.
I went to BIZ2 to study for my marketing. I was reading through the book, and really, i was just plainly reading without any form of absorbing. Worse, when I recalled my answers for my SS finals, I realized that I didn't follow the exact instructions again (again because I also did it in one of my earlier papers). I was radical in my answer, it was way off what they really wanted to ask. Sniff... It pierced my bones... I liked my SS that much and it's really a big deal if I don't do well, but geez, why did I end up doing that? However, I believe that I'll just have to leave it up to Him. There's nothing I can do. And I guess I must learn to move on... Besides, if it is His will then so be it. It's not my end anyway, its just part of this colorful life that we all are blessed with. The thought just temporarily drained away my appetite for studying...
and waaaa! Brice really made me scream! He started off this tale of a young girl who died on where I was muggin. I wasn't freaked out by that, pero I gave it some thought because there's actually a "HELP!!!" inscription on the table. It was questionable because it was a white paint, and how would that girl be able to obtain a white paint while she's dying? She could have screamed! *LOL* and Brice's friend also told me it wasn't true. Anyway, either case I wasn't shooked. And then later while I was mindlessly READING my book (mind you I was alone), I happen to avert my gaze on staircase side and waaa! I saw Brice stealthly making his way near me! So in that sense, he was caught. And then after some interrogation, he said he would leave and indeed, I saw him leaving the vicinity. I just continued my stuff afterwards, and then stared at the outside dark world to give my eyes some break. Nice trees and cold breeze, the reasons why I chose the place... and then i felt some weird silence and decided to set my eyes back to the book... and WAAAAAAAAA! This guy was like crouching himself towards me, and staring at my book! To think, he's tall, he's fair, and looked serious! I WAS UTTERLY SURPRISED AND SCREAMED AT THE TOP OF MY VOICE for a fleeting number of seconds ^_^. What would you do anyway, after having some nice moment of silence with nature and was readily positioning yourself to get back muggin and then out of the blue some entity is "standing" beside you? #_# it was hugely hugely surprising...although I wasn't scared (haha coz i talked to Him earlier), I was just both shocked and surprised.
neways! i'm off to bed early today! coz my head's not absorbing anyway, what's the use?
Gud am! and God bless! ¶ 12:05 AM 1 comments
I went to BIZ2 to study for my marketing. I was reading through the book, and really, i was just plainly reading without any form of absorbing. Worse, when I recalled my answers for my SS finals, I realized that I didn't follow the exact instructions again (again because I also did it in one of my earlier papers). I was radical in my answer, it was way off what they really wanted to ask. Sniff... It pierced my bones... I liked my SS that much and it's really a big deal if I don't do well, but geez, why did I end up doing that? However, I believe that I'll just have to leave it up to Him. There's nothing I can do. And I guess I must learn to move on... Besides, if it is His will then so be it. It's not my end anyway, its just part of this colorful life that we all are blessed with. The thought just temporarily drained away my appetite for studying...
and waaaa! Brice really made me scream! He started off this tale of a young girl who died on where I was muggin. I wasn't freaked out by that, pero I gave it some thought because there's actually a "HELP!!!" inscription on the table. It was questionable because it was a white paint, and how would that girl be able to obtain a white paint while she's dying? She could have screamed! *LOL* and Brice's friend also told me it wasn't true. Anyway, either case I wasn't shooked. And then later while I was mindlessly READING my book (mind you I was alone), I happen to avert my gaze on staircase side and waaa! I saw Brice stealthly making his way near me! So in that sense, he was caught. And then after some interrogation, he said he would leave and indeed, I saw him leaving the vicinity. I just continued my stuff afterwards, and then stared at the outside dark world to give my eyes some break. Nice trees and cold breeze, the reasons why I chose the place... and then i felt some weird silence and decided to set my eyes back to the book... and WAAAAAAAAA! This guy was like crouching himself towards me, and staring at my book! To think, he's tall, he's fair, and looked serious! I WAS UTTERLY SURPRISED AND SCREAMED AT THE TOP OF MY VOICE for a fleeting number of seconds ^_^. What would you do anyway, after having some nice moment of silence with nature and was readily positioning yourself to get back muggin and then out of the blue some entity is "standing" beside you? #_# it was hugely hugely surprising...although I wasn't scared (haha coz i talked to Him earlier), I was just both shocked and surprised.
neways! i'm off to bed early today! coz my head's not absorbing anyway, what's the use?
Gud am! and God bless! ¶ 12:05 AM 1 comments
