Monday, May 23, 2005
summer winter
May 23, 2005
Hello everyone!
I’m here again and I tell you this one is a very long post because I hardly could get online. I still have to ask permission to get connected. But for this one, it’s only a steal of ten minutes, I just hope it doesn’t create much difference.
I appended on this post the “posts” I’m supposed to post ages ago. Anyway, those were of different emotional states but still I opted to post them for me to reminisce. I’m not fond of deleting stupid posts (like my may 14’s ^_^). I want to keep them to remind myself and maybe even for those who also want to be reminded ^_^.
For the past two days my relatives and me (a lone representative of my family) went camping on this place higher than the Eden Toril “resort and recreation” place. It was really cool because it was my first time to actually feel fog like it was thick smoke running in front of your face, in fact, in front of my whole body! I have seen fog in person but they were always been at a distance from me. And we played volleyball! Sloped it may have been, my team lost thrice (out of four)! Hehe it was quite unfair because it was bagets vs. forgets, and we have to “believe” the older people’s deception that a ball is out or in (esp. when it is a line ball) in their favor although it could have been our ball. Hehe. Anyway, I had fun and the game was an improvement compared to the last time we played in Dumoy, a beach resort in Toril as well, where we got defeated effortlessly.
We also visited Eden Toril for quite a while, the swimming pool was cold so we only dipped around 15-30 minutes and then we left off for the Indiana Jones. It was similar to the “thing” West Coast Playground have.
During our camping, I realized that when you come from a very hot place to a naturally cold one, a natural cold temperature is severely piercing. It gave me a bad headache.
The place was really cold that almost everyone covered their bodies, i.e. my aunt wore two sweaters and a t-shirt, two pants, socks and rubber shoes (then slippers). It was that cold, and we even have to sleep inside the car closedàit was my aunt’s land cruiser so 5 people were able to sleep well enough (since tents for us are a lot colder, but the “4gets” slept there with the younger children).
I practically enjoyed. Hopefully we will be coming back there on the 11th of June (to cool off ourselves again) ^_^.
And by Wednesday hopefully we will be traveling for Bohol to meet my never-before-seen relatives, the main reason why I opted to go home. Sana the meeting would be nice. Please I had enough troubles, I had another one kasi last night when I came back….
Sige! God bless!
P.S.
Oh Lord! Thanks! At least I’m having some form of rest here =).
P.S.S.
My bestfriend visited me and my mom yesterday. It was a relief =)
here are some photos:
me, cha and ate gin
just the 2 of us
May 14, 2005
Hay, it’s been four days since I last read Your Word oh Lord.
Korinna went back in the Phil instead because her family missed her. It was a good realization for her in fact because she realized that family is more important than money. Indeed, she was “blinded” by the want of more spare cash remembering that she mentioned once how much she envied Wayne for having a good deal of money on his bank account. As for me, I actually wish I was back there on the look out for a job at least I could help out my family financially. Now is the time we need that much. And I just changed my mind set about money. We need money for mom’s cure (in an easier way since we also have “harder” means to do so). We need money for a better life… Oh Lord is this right? Is this what you want me to realize?
Oh Lord I need your strength. I am being defeated by our house’ structure, by idleness, by sadness, by everything that’s preventing me from growing in You… Oh Lord help me!
May 10, 2005, 2:00 pm
Well, yesterday, May 9 was a whirlwind of events.
First, I realized something “awful” for my part; however, it was mine to keep…
Second, when I came home, it wasn’t a surprise. The news got leaked. Sigh, I should have asked the cooperation of all those people back in S’pore not to tell anyone. Whoever told my mom that I was in Manila, I felt a temporal hatred for that person. But pathetic, that hatred should be due to me because I never really informed everyone my plans so it was breached.
Third, my mom got cancer and the healing process is more than financially draining. We also have to deal with my mom’s pessimistic view of life.
The last one was the most horrible. We, me and my ate, technically spent the whole day looking after and assisting our mom to different doctors and from place to place... It was a very long day that I even forgot that I came back on that same day. On the back of my mind I kept thinking that I came back a day ago. Shux, I wonder if it was denial at work…
I failed to read God’s word in 3 days already. There was also even a time when I questioned God a lot, esp. why others seemed to have a better life than me, that they remain untroubled compared to how troubled I am all throughout my 18 years of existence. Life is unfair. God is good.
But I believe it is still God at work. I know what particular traits in me that He is trying to cut off… But why? Why does it had to be this kind of way oh Lord? Unbearable? I know Lord, you never place us in a situation where we cannot handle. But Lord… help!
I do not know what to do. I wish I never came back here. I wish that I didn’t board the plane but rather went off with Kor, Josh and Ferron for job hunting. My Aunt would certainly understand why I cannot meet her and my Lola too…
Sigh… Oh May 9 was quite a stricken day. Or really I might be a stricken person. I thank God for all of this. I know He will carry us through. I believe He will because He always will and He always does.
God bless you all!
P.S.
I’m very proud of my Ate Lovecell… She simply is the best and I love her so much!
May 7, 7:05 pm
Believe it or not I’m writing this while I’m on my way to Manila from Clark. Sigh, I’m taking the bus. And as surely as the Lord lives, He is saving me in every struggle I face in this long journey back home.
I’m in seat fourteen just next to an empty seat thirteen; I guess these people are quite superstitious with numbers, thanks to them, I got one vacant seat next to mine where I could put my back pack and jacket to lie idle on. In fairness, the bus left on time, an improvement I daresay. ^_^. I just hope we won’t get caught up on a traffic jam… The bus is philtranco by the way… and I guess I am given the chance to view Pampangga to Manila at night (I’ve never been to other parts of Luzon except Manila FYI, so practically speaking, now I’ve been to other parts! Other than Manila! Hehehe). Inside a fully-air-conditioned bus with a vacant seat all left for my use, I’m viewing all what can be viewed other than my momentary glimpse on the computer screen while writing this. Coolness, I’m writing based on my current emotional state and experience. However, it is biased because my situation might as well give me a good opinion about the place… maybe I’m just a little paranoid. ^_^
We stopped! Gosh! How I wish this was nonstop! #_#...
Minutes later…
Okay that was just transient… The bus slowed down because we passed by some terminal with many bustling people on the street.
I just spotted a school! How I miss schools in the phil!...
Wow… 9 months sure have nurtured this excitement in me. I’m glad to be back
Chowking…waaa! Jollibee on the window scene! Ack! I’m home! #_#
Can you believe this? I’ll be eating Jollibee again! Wahahaha… if appetite still calls for the western type food with Filipino twist, I might opt for Jollibee and I guess whoever I’m with, whether that person is sick and tired of Jollibee, will have no choice but to dine with me. I will insist! And I will order palabok fiesta for Ferron ^_^. (indeed this happened the day after so Ferron! I got myself a good tasting palabok fiesta!)
Anyway, I better stop and enjoy the part of Luzon that I’ve never been into!
Ciao!
God bless!
And to all my part-timer friends in Singapore, jia you! And enjoy! =). You made a wise choice =). But then, just hang on there ya? Working is tough when it get its toll on you. Even I was struggling even though I just worked on weekends. I guess, overused it might be, we should learn to love our work. Else, it would be a gradual torture that torments us slowly to insanity. #_#. Be patient and I will pray for your good welfare!
Take care! ¶ 9:46 AM
Hello everyone!
I’m here again and I tell you this one is a very long post because I hardly could get online. I still have to ask permission to get connected. But for this one, it’s only a steal of ten minutes, I just hope it doesn’t create much difference.
I appended on this post the “posts” I’m supposed to post ages ago. Anyway, those were of different emotional states but still I opted to post them for me to reminisce. I’m not fond of deleting stupid posts (like my may 14’s ^_^). I want to keep them to remind myself and maybe even for those who also want to be reminded ^_^.
For the past two days my relatives and me (a lone representative of my family) went camping on this place higher than the Eden Toril “resort and recreation” place. It was really cool because it was my first time to actually feel fog like it was thick smoke running in front of your face, in fact, in front of my whole body! I have seen fog in person but they were always been at a distance from me. And we played volleyball! Sloped it may have been, my team lost thrice (out of four)! Hehe it was quite unfair because it was bagets vs. forgets, and we have to “believe” the older people’s deception that a ball is out or in (esp. when it is a line ball) in their favor although it could have been our ball. Hehe. Anyway, I had fun and the game was an improvement compared to the last time we played in Dumoy, a beach resort in Toril as well, where we got defeated effortlessly.
We also visited Eden Toril for quite a while, the swimming pool was cold so we only dipped around 15-30 minutes and then we left off for the Indiana Jones. It was similar to the “thing” West Coast Playground have.
During our camping, I realized that when you come from a very hot place to a naturally cold one, a natural cold temperature is severely piercing. It gave me a bad headache.
The place was really cold that almost everyone covered their bodies, i.e. my aunt wore two sweaters and a t-shirt, two pants, socks and rubber shoes (then slippers). It was that cold, and we even have to sleep inside the car closedàit was my aunt’s land cruiser so 5 people were able to sleep well enough (since tents for us are a lot colder, but the “4gets” slept there with the younger children).
I practically enjoyed. Hopefully we will be coming back there on the 11th of June (to cool off ourselves again) ^_^.
And by Wednesday hopefully we will be traveling for Bohol to meet my never-before-seen relatives, the main reason why I opted to go home. Sana the meeting would be nice. Please I had enough troubles, I had another one kasi last night when I came back….
Sige! God bless!
P.S.
Oh Lord! Thanks! At least I’m having some form of rest here =).
P.S.S.
My bestfriend visited me and my mom yesterday. It was a relief =)
here are some photos:
me, cha and ate gin
just the 2 of usMay 14, 2005
Hay, it’s been four days since I last read Your Word oh Lord.
Korinna went back in the Phil instead because her family missed her. It was a good realization for her in fact because she realized that family is more important than money. Indeed, she was “blinded” by the want of more spare cash remembering that she mentioned once how much she envied Wayne for having a good deal of money on his bank account. As for me, I actually wish I was back there on the look out for a job at least I could help out my family financially. Now is the time we need that much. And I just changed my mind set about money. We need money for mom’s cure (in an easier way since we also have “harder” means to do so). We need money for a better life… Oh Lord is this right? Is this what you want me to realize?
Oh Lord I need your strength. I am being defeated by our house’ structure, by idleness, by sadness, by everything that’s preventing me from growing in You… Oh Lord help me!
May 10, 2005, 2:00 pm
Well, yesterday, May 9 was a whirlwind of events.
First, I realized something “awful” for my part; however, it was mine to keep…
Second, when I came home, it wasn’t a surprise. The news got leaked. Sigh, I should have asked the cooperation of all those people back in S’pore not to tell anyone. Whoever told my mom that I was in Manila, I felt a temporal hatred for that person. But pathetic, that hatred should be due to me because I never really informed everyone my plans so it was breached.
Third, my mom got cancer and the healing process is more than financially draining. We also have to deal with my mom’s pessimistic view of life.
The last one was the most horrible. We, me and my ate, technically spent the whole day looking after and assisting our mom to different doctors and from place to place... It was a very long day that I even forgot that I came back on that same day. On the back of my mind I kept thinking that I came back a day ago. Shux, I wonder if it was denial at work…
I failed to read God’s word in 3 days already. There was also even a time when I questioned God a lot, esp. why others seemed to have a better life than me, that they remain untroubled compared to how troubled I am all throughout my 18 years of existence. Life is unfair. God is good.
But I believe it is still God at work. I know what particular traits in me that He is trying to cut off… But why? Why does it had to be this kind of way oh Lord? Unbearable? I know Lord, you never place us in a situation where we cannot handle. But Lord… help!
I do not know what to do. I wish I never came back here. I wish that I didn’t board the plane but rather went off with Kor, Josh and Ferron for job hunting. My Aunt would certainly understand why I cannot meet her and my Lola too…
Sigh… Oh May 9 was quite a stricken day. Or really I might be a stricken person. I thank God for all of this. I know He will carry us through. I believe He will because He always will and He always does.
God bless you all!
P.S.
I’m very proud of my Ate Lovecell… She simply is the best and I love her so much!
May 7, 7:05 pm
Believe it or not I’m writing this while I’m on my way to Manila from Clark. Sigh, I’m taking the bus. And as surely as the Lord lives, He is saving me in every struggle I face in this long journey back home.
I’m in seat fourteen just next to an empty seat thirteen; I guess these people are quite superstitious with numbers, thanks to them, I got one vacant seat next to mine where I could put my back pack and jacket to lie idle on. In fairness, the bus left on time, an improvement I daresay. ^_^. I just hope we won’t get caught up on a traffic jam… The bus is philtranco by the way… and I guess I am given the chance to view Pampangga to Manila at night (I’ve never been to other parts of Luzon except Manila FYI, so practically speaking, now I’ve been to other parts! Other than Manila! Hehehe). Inside a fully-air-conditioned bus with a vacant seat all left for my use, I’m viewing all what can be viewed other than my momentary glimpse on the computer screen while writing this. Coolness, I’m writing based on my current emotional state and experience. However, it is biased because my situation might as well give me a good opinion about the place… maybe I’m just a little paranoid. ^_^
We stopped! Gosh! How I wish this was nonstop! #_#...
Minutes later…
Okay that was just transient… The bus slowed down because we passed by some terminal with many bustling people on the street.
I just spotted a school! How I miss schools in the phil!...
Wow… 9 months sure have nurtured this excitement in me. I’m glad to be back
Chowking…waaa! Jollibee on the window scene! Ack! I’m home! #_#
Can you believe this? I’ll be eating Jollibee again! Wahahaha… if appetite still calls for the western type food with Filipino twist, I might opt for Jollibee and I guess whoever I’m with, whether that person is sick and tired of Jollibee, will have no choice but to dine with me. I will insist! And I will order palabok fiesta for Ferron ^_^. (indeed this happened the day after so Ferron! I got myself a good tasting palabok fiesta!)
Anyway, I better stop and enjoy the part of Luzon that I’ve never been into!
Ciao!
God bless!
And to all my part-timer friends in Singapore, jia you! And enjoy! =). You made a wise choice =). But then, just hang on there ya? Working is tough when it get its toll on you. Even I was struggling even though I just worked on weekends. I guess, overused it might be, we should learn to love our work. Else, it would be a gradual torture that torments us slowly to insanity. #_#. Be patient and I will pray for your good welfare!
Take care! ¶ 9:46 AM
Comments:
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hey ives. i'm glad nakakarelax ka na jan. we're all praying for your mom! :D
mejo mahaba to kasi i'd like to explain about the "leakage". i would have to say i'm guilty, although c joline ung nagsabi talaga. kasi, ganito un. joline called me up one morning and told me tinawagan daw sya ng some member of your family na tinatanong kung nasan ka. di nya alam anong sabihin, so kinonsult nya ako kung ano dapat gawin. sabi ko hintay nlng muna, and i tried to text you twice sa pinas to ask for ur opinion pero di mo yata nareceive.
that afternoon, joline called me up uli, and she said that your mom called and was very worried about u. i tried to text you again, pero di pa rin ata natanggap. it was mother's day din nun, and joline and i felt na your mom shouldn't worry too much on this day, and in her condition pa. so ayun, i agreed to let her say na umuwi ka na sa pinas.
sorry kung naspoil ung surprise ah. we're very sorry. pero it was mother's day, your mom was very worried, and we did not want to cause undue panic. pero just the same, i know pinaghirapan mong ikeep secret, so sorry pa rin.
on a brighter note, enjoy urself there! kainggit naman nasa pinas ka na with ur family! take care always and see you soon!
mejo mahaba to kasi i'd like to explain about the "leakage". i would have to say i'm guilty, although c joline ung nagsabi talaga. kasi, ganito un. joline called me up one morning and told me tinawagan daw sya ng some member of your family na tinatanong kung nasan ka. di nya alam anong sabihin, so kinonsult nya ako kung ano dapat gawin. sabi ko hintay nlng muna, and i tried to text you twice sa pinas to ask for ur opinion pero di mo yata nareceive.
that afternoon, joline called me up uli, and she said that your mom called and was very worried about u. i tried to text you again, pero di pa rin ata natanggap. it was mother's day din nun, and joline and i felt na your mom shouldn't worry too much on this day, and in her condition pa. so ayun, i agreed to let her say na umuwi ka na sa pinas.
sorry kung naspoil ung surprise ah. we're very sorry. pero it was mother's day, your mom was very worried, and we did not want to cause undue panic. pero just the same, i know pinaghirapan mong ikeep secret, so sorry pa rin.
on a brighter note, enjoy urself there! kainggit naman nasa pinas ka na with ur family! take care always and see you soon!
hello ivy! in response to ur earlier posts....um, personally, i think ok ang decision mo to go home. i think better pa rin na ur with ur mom right now kesa nag stay ka sa singapore to work to earn money to help with your mother's medical expenses. mas ok pa rin yung anjan ka to be able to hug and kiss her everyday and to be able to personally tell her how much you love her. maybe dito sa pinas minsan nanghihinayang ka sa money na ma earn mo para makatulong sana, pero kung nasa singapore ka i'm sure mas lalo ka pang manghinyanag sa time spent with ur family sana kung umuwi ka. ul have to pay a price anyhow. narealize mo na man ata yan. so yun, enjoy every moment spent with ur family! and remember that God is a great provider.=)
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