the story of a little girl there was once an elementary girl from a now famous public school... she has big dreams, and every time she prays, she prays that one day she'll reach big things... that one day she no longer had to take jeepney rides from home to her school... she kept praying and slowly, the Lord answered her prayer. She bagged the highest honors of that school when she graduated...

yet the little girl knew what she always wanted... In her heart she kept that ... before she graduated she scanned a book, found her dream career and learned what initial steps she should take to get there... She chose and remembered what she can do... she kept it still and marched her way to get her gold...

the little girl wants to press on for her dream and so she took a bold step to take an entrance exam to a prestigious high school in her place. She was pretty anxious, yet she prayed that the Lord would grant her a good education, a good stepping stone for her ambition. The Lord was kind and merciful, He granted her desire and so she got in to a prestigious school... It was not easy for her as she met different sorts of people, new sorts of people to deal with... a bunch of so-called elites that she never knew existed before. She went on, she found hardship, she had fun competing, she had fun striving, she loved pleasing her mom yet tensions grew within the family and within school...

the little girl, knowing still what she wanted pushed on, striving still and growing. She made new and wonderful friends that were with her during the 4-year struggle... She had fun, she learned patience, she learned slacking, she ceased being a perfectionist yet she knows she still wants more of what she has... After years of "struggle", she graduated with a good high school education...

and yet she does not know where to go exactly for college...

she only took one tertiary entrance exam for this prestigious state university of her country located about a thousand or two miles away from home... and with crossed fingers she took a foreign scholarship to study in this more prestigious school...

She got in for the prestigious state university of her country... She wasn't exactly happy but her mom was delighted, she was not contented... and for the fact that someone who resembled someone important to her commented that it's nothing big really, she was in distraught... she asked God that she wanted to go out of her country for college, a school where there are a lot of people more intelligent than her and so would definitely feel mediocre and will strive harder... her masochist self wanted to struggle and prove to that someone that she's not just no one... She was emotionally struggling... Within her she knows she doesn't belong to that university but everyday she wakes up and goes to school, the cold hard fact was, she is schooling there... It was a painful struggle; something in her strongly believes that she belongs to another school... Boredom and discouragement overtook her...

A month later, she prayed intently to God, and the funny part is, God answered her prayer 5 minutes later... She did burst into tears, and was no less amazed of how her God has been listening to the little girl...

She got the foreign scholarship, and she did head off to that foreign land.
There she found God...

And later she was confused... she was confused between what her God wants and what she wants. She wanted to excel but her confusion lead her to slacking, to want to know more about what she got confused about: what God wants and the disparity from what she wants and what she should/must want. She knows what the little girl wanted, but she questions whether it was right to maintain it... She saw that there are a lot of many other things to do that could please her God, and she thinks that what the little girl wanted was something selfish... She is doing what the little girl wanted, the stepping stone for what she wanted to become, and yet she lost her zeal. No... she is confused, and yet the answer is not yet there...

indeed the Lord sent her to a university with a lot of smart people and she is no less a mediocre student... Mediocrity became normal for her. But chances are she's heading downwards unless the Lord somehow explains to her the answers to her confusion... How?

the story of the little girl is unfinished...

yes she is still confused... yet she's not trying hard... it is hard to pull her out from her slacking. she needs motivation, but worldly achievement really is nothing much to her because of her confusion... where to get motivation is another big problem... she tries to be real... and really motivation from her God is another sort and she can't find a motivation enough to pull her out of being a laid back person... maybe she is blinded, maybe she is more confused than ever, maybe... time can only tell or maybe if the Lord speaks to her face clearly then she would know...
yet her story is not yet done...

is she meant to prove anything to anyone?
it is rather not necessary...or so she thinks.
her dragon is herself...
she got to slay her own dragon and many more dragons...
she is trapped, she can't move...
what are her chances of breaking free?
where?
how?

and so the story continues...  ¶ 4:27 PM