simply irritable I don't want to be like those bloggers who simply write down all their frustrations in their blogs concerning other people. But I guess for this post, I'm bent to be one.

I'm frustrated of my mom. Ang tigas kasi ng ulo niya. Her diet must be controlled bt she keeps on complaining, and maybe unknown to me, she has been eating more than what I thought normal... It was just this morning that we learned she can't have her second chemo, after a week delay... And now, she's gonna have another week of delay... Ugh... I wish it can be helped because that waste protein barely ,as in BARELY!, dropped down (last week 119 now 118, and normal is 113)...

I'm frustrated of my neice. Bakit ba yung mga taong endowed with good looks kadalasan malaki ang ulo? (i mean, suplada at pinagkakatuwaan ang kapangitan ng iba). Just because a person is beautiful, they have the right to laugh at other people's "ugly" faces. Oh God, they really don't! And it really pisses me off big time. It gives me this loathful heart, if only I do wish to disappoint my Lord, I'd be visibly showing my fury to people like her.

I'm frustrated of my younger sister. She has been the same old irritable sister, who has been treated like some hell of a "queen" by her friends and who has enjoyed the treatment. I told her frankly that she's "maldita" (see spanish dictionary), but she keeps on denying it. She tells me that we don't understand, to us she is but to her friends she's not. She's more patient and understanding to them. But to us, it's like she has to be pleased all the time to be of pleasant character towards us. She's not used to think of other people's feeling when she is feeling bad (even though other's might have felt worse than her).

I'm frustrated of myself, to get easily frustrated of the imperfectness of the world. I'm frustrated to get frustrated. I'm frustrated because I'm imperfect. I'm frustrated of myself to see things this way. I'm frustrated of envy. I'm frustrated of self-centeredness. I'm frustrated to be irritable like my sister but with different reasons to be irritable.

I'm also frustrated to belong to a family of back and even frontbiters (if there is such a thing)--> their source of enjoyment when they gather (i mean my parent's generation) if they are not talking about travelling, their children, etc. In fairness though, they do this to someone connected to the family somehow, i.e. boyfriends or girlfriends... My family (the extended as a whole in my mother's side) is proud to have been usually endowed with good looks. I tell ya, Spanish blood is really prominent in their looks. Tall, fair/white skinned, some even have some brunette hair while others with freckles (yeah... I know freckels aren't beauty thing...), hazelnut eyes, etc... a.k.a. "pretty" looks accdg to some standard... Okay... I know they are just not me, but I don't wallow in self-pity for those things. I'm not even discriminated because such things are all in the mind and I know that those things are just things that can be seen, they fade away. But you see the essential things are those unseen, it is even in the bible. Anyway, back to my point, I'm frustrated because just because they are blessed doesn't mean they can go on like that.

On the good side... My extended family is bonding well. We also help each other; in every aspect of support that can be given, we give. There is love too... I may be frustrated of the imprefections (and I guess that can subside and be understood as part of life and can even be changed for the better), I'm blessed to have them. I love them too...

I'm somehow frustrated to have opted for electrical engineering because I don't want to fail.

Anyway... I hope I won't be frustrated anymore after writing this =).  ¶ 1:53 PM