Monday, March 28, 2005
just emotional, and unfriendly random thoughts
i want to vent all my emotions/complains in this entry...hehe...
okay at this moment i felt like, how i wish i was home
i don't want to study, no point working hard
why are they like that?
why am i like this?
could i stop eating? geez, food is a powerful temptation to the restless tummy
could they just leave me alone? when i needed them they weren't here, now i don't want them but they're bugging me!
can they just go away?
i'm stressed!
why is it tough to do the commission?
can Jesus come now? I want to go home
will my soul be restless always?
will people be forever not open-minded?
when will God break into them?
when will my self-control grow stronger?
when will i be more inspired to push further?
i don't dream that big anymore, i find it impractical
but since that dream is gone, im not motivated to excel
can somebody challenge me? the "push" is gone...
i find academics boring
NUS is stretching my nerves the wrong way
They want loads of info to be taught in one sem
One topic, i.e. partial derivatives, meant for a sem, was studied for 2 weeks!
how are we supposed to understand that?
I hate memorizing! all those formulas just @$$Q@3
arrr... and now hall
I want to go to PGP!
I'm not fond of my crush anymore...
He used to appear big...now he's just another dot...
How i long to bring back the industrious me
who finds studying a pleasure
and doesn't want to lose out
who hates mediocre performances
a perfectionist
I am all opposite of those mentioned
but spiritually well off, i hope...
i don't know whether im better or worse
i feel like i'm ever unsatisfied
but this world will never satisfy
and i don't like the way this world puts this pressure on me
i don't even find millionaires happy
why do people want to be rich and place priority of getting there over knowing God?
isn't it said, seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things will be given unto you? lousy love for money!
what do people really search, if money and happiness are mutually exclusive?
big time house, big time car, big time career, yeah whatever big time
or maybe whatever good looking, im plain tired of all these stupid vanities
they're going nowhere... nowhere...
i find it "off" when i hear people wanting to be wealthy... I don't know, i just find it "off" even if i were the one who'd say it... it has this disappointing aura on me...
i belittle people who focus their lives plainly on getting rich... I find them hopeless... because when they'll get there, will they find what they're looking for? or will they remain unsatisfied? i doubt that they'll be ultimately contented...
getting rich isn't bad... but if you set your heart with the world... tsk tsk tsk...
you're actually fortunate when you were in the slums
argh...
i'm lazy.... ¶ 9:17 PM
okay at this moment i felt like, how i wish i was home
i don't want to study, no point working hard
why are they like that?
why am i like this?
could i stop eating? geez, food is a powerful temptation to the restless tummy
could they just leave me alone? when i needed them they weren't here, now i don't want them but they're bugging me!
can they just go away?
i'm stressed!
why is it tough to do the commission?
can Jesus come now? I want to go home
will my soul be restless always?
will people be forever not open-minded?
when will God break into them?
when will my self-control grow stronger?
when will i be more inspired to push further?
i don't dream that big anymore, i find it impractical
but since that dream is gone, im not motivated to excel
can somebody challenge me? the "push" is gone...
i find academics boring
NUS is stretching my nerves the wrong way
They want loads of info to be taught in one sem
One topic, i.e. partial derivatives, meant for a sem, was studied for 2 weeks!
how are we supposed to understand that?
I hate memorizing! all those formulas just @$$Q@3
arrr... and now hall
I want to go to PGP!
I'm not fond of my crush anymore...
He used to appear big...now he's just another dot...
How i long to bring back the industrious me
who finds studying a pleasure
and doesn't want to lose out
who hates mediocre performances
a perfectionist
I am all opposite of those mentioned
but spiritually well off, i hope...
i don't know whether im better or worse
i feel like i'm ever unsatisfied
but this world will never satisfy
and i don't like the way this world puts this pressure on me
i don't even find millionaires happy
why do people want to be rich and place priority of getting there over knowing God?
isn't it said, seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things will be given unto you? lousy love for money!
what do people really search, if money and happiness are mutually exclusive?
big time house, big time car, big time career, yeah whatever big time
or maybe whatever good looking, im plain tired of all these stupid vanities
they're going nowhere... nowhere...
i find it "off" when i hear people wanting to be wealthy... I don't know, i just find it "off" even if i were the one who'd say it... it has this disappointing aura on me...
i belittle people who focus their lives plainly on getting rich... I find them hopeless... because when they'll get there, will they find what they're looking for? or will they remain unsatisfied? i doubt that they'll be ultimately contented...
getting rich isn't bad... but if you set your heart with the world... tsk tsk tsk...
you're actually fortunate when you were in the slums
argh...
i'm lazy.... ¶ 9:17 PM
