Wednesday, February 02, 2005
These are the times when you just feel like argh....
yep...
apart from the current fact that I'm going to have 4 midterms in one day (but hopefully in God's mercy would be reduced to 3), I'm typically numb and soon to be irritable. Indeed the 4-midterm Saturday is just the perfect recipe for disaster to those who would start studying in that same week. And from the way I do things, I'm one of the potential candidates to such atrocious fate. If I don't start reviewing the soonest time I could, I'm over. The mere fact that I'm behind in all my lectures makes me unable to push through with the review... But at the moment, none of those factual stuff gives me the urgency to do something academically related.
---digression---
I guess this is the moment wherein I have to choose between having life and no life at all... That is, social life... In fact, I'm living like a lifeless being these days (but it never really shows)... Something like nobody knows me and I don't want to know them yet; they're nobody and so am I. I'm definitely irritable while i'm writing this... no wonder i must have hated a bunch of people for no valid reason a few hours ago.. argh... maybe i just don't like what's happening to me and what i have been doing lately... rationally speaking, all the time i've spent are wasted... (you must be wondering what i'm talking about ayt?...well, I also don't know exactly; i just can identify the sensation...)
So much for lack of motivation. I don't know what my Lord really wants, however, I am more confident in Him than I was yesterday--> a definite improvement... Yet, I still lack motivation... argh... i couldn't be driven by career success, wealth and the like... I feel like they are all such a waste of time for they are going to disappear anyway, if not during your lifetime, then in your death... They're not the type that lasts forever, not really worthy to invest time with or money or whatever... This is all crap...
i must be pessimistic...
----digression---
but anyway, i don't like how "ang mga taga dito" act... arrogant and stuff... i don't like the way they feel like they are superior and stuff.. i also don't like people who judge people on their appearances (esp. based on skin color... they are utter humiliation to existence! like as if being fair makes them more human... they never realized that their judgement has already turned them into a pile of excrement... nothing but unwanted nuissance...--> well, based on my friend's experience). and I don't like the way they slowly influence me...and the language...please! move away! i don't like shallow people; especially those who don't only waste my time but waste their own time as well... what the!
i am so...irritable...
what's this post for? hmm... just for this...
----digression---
adios!
¶ 1:03 AM
apart from the current fact that I'm going to have 4 midterms in one day (but hopefully in God's mercy would be reduced to 3), I'm typically numb and soon to be irritable. Indeed the 4-midterm Saturday is just the perfect recipe for disaster to those who would start studying in that same week. And from the way I do things, I'm one of the potential candidates to such atrocious fate. If I don't start reviewing the soonest time I could, I'm over. The mere fact that I'm behind in all my lectures makes me unable to push through with the review... But at the moment, none of those factual stuff gives me the urgency to do something academically related.
---digression---
I guess this is the moment wherein I have to choose between having life and no life at all... That is, social life... In fact, I'm living like a lifeless being these days (but it never really shows)... Something like nobody knows me and I don't want to know them yet; they're nobody and so am I. I'm definitely irritable while i'm writing this... no wonder i must have hated a bunch of people for no valid reason a few hours ago.. argh... maybe i just don't like what's happening to me and what i have been doing lately... rationally speaking, all the time i've spent are wasted... (you must be wondering what i'm talking about ayt?...well, I also don't know exactly; i just can identify the sensation...)
--digression--
So much for lack of motivation. I don't know what my Lord really wants, however, I am more confident in Him than I was yesterday--> a definite improvement... Yet, I still lack motivation... argh... i couldn't be driven by career success, wealth and the like... I feel like they are all such a waste of time for they are going to disappear anyway, if not during your lifetime, then in your death... They're not the type that lasts forever, not really worthy to invest time with or money or whatever... This is all crap...
i must be pessimistic...
----digression---
but anyway, i don't like how "ang mga taga dito" act... arrogant and stuff... i don't like the way they feel like they are superior and stuff.. i also don't like people who judge people on their appearances (esp. based on skin color... they are utter humiliation to existence! like as if being fair makes them more human... they never realized that their judgement has already turned them into a pile of excrement... nothing but unwanted nuissance...--> well, based on my friend's experience). and I don't like the way they slowly influence me...and the language...please! move away! i don't like shallow people; especially those who don't only waste my time but waste their own time as well... what the!
i am so...irritable...
what's this post for? hmm... just for this...
----digression---
adios!
¶ 1:03 AM
