nothing much i blogged again because I'm slacking

i can't seem to overcome the simple pleasure of slacking... stress-free, enjoying every entertainment i could get my hands on, but in the long run face the consequences of spending my time on things that doesn't really count much. I know the possible consequences of such an act but the thought of them just don't scare me at all. I know they're going to be bad and I know by doing so I'm acting like a foolish child wandering around at night on a highway, waiting to be hit by whatever that passes along. As long as I know I'm not yet dead, I still want to play in the streets because it's giving me the an addictive yet transient euphoria...

It's sad to realize that I know how bad my choices are but I still choose them anyway. It's like I'm lost in this fuzzy maze that I've gone through many times before, but I never really learned. It's confusing, it's distorting me, it's simply slowly "destroying" me in a nice, happy, care-free way. I know, but I don't feel the gravity of the situation. Probably because I've gone through this similar path and made the wrong choices yet got through fine. So even though i know their wrong, God will still save me. And I know it's never going to do me any good that's why I'm nagging at myself through this post. At least I might feel the shame knowing that others will know what I have been doing... =(

Oh well... Tomorrow, I will study...
I will study like I never had, and that will be my punishment!

I hope the Lord would help me...
But let His will be done!


  ¶ 12:54 AM