Wednesday, November 10, 2004
finally ...
finally?
hehe... finally i still can't study well.. hehe... yesterday i spent hours giving rough changes for this blog (5 hours i think =P ) but anyway, at least i could say that my blog is 90% done or nearly done. I'm also glad I already told Kor about this... hehe.. I was quite scared though about what if, when she learns about this and a number of people learned beforehand, she might feel that i didn't trust her. I do, but i can't tell her back then... for some reasons ;)... and the finally im referring about is her knowledge of this.
it's quite funny lately that I'm engaging myself with intellectual conversations without a good brain in hand... haha.. my brain is not in my hand duh! =P... just kidding... what I meant was that in the first place I'd be talking to people who are way older than me and got my respect but not necessarily my agreement; they are good at finding loop holes in arguments...haha. =). Neways, my five-cent words were slapped with one-dollar ones... haha, at least I got to learn what schtick is. A word i can hardly spell without the dictionary. *LOL* hehe... but then, i learned the flaws of my arguments and I hope that person too learned his... Or maybe he just sticks too much with his cause =P... I find him as someone who loves to go against the general flow and someone who tends to negate stuff and maybe even accept things (especially the bad implications of phrases that I never really even considered) as for himself. In the first place, I wasn't criticising his character but rather his claims and how they are biased with his experiences. It made me feel bad though because it seems like the words I've said to him were piercing him or in his terms "hitting him below the belt". I am well aware that I could be a potential warfreak or be a total peacelover, but my intentions are never to hurt anyone. My intention that time was to defend a Christian, whose achievements were trivially undermined by him, who also achieved a similar thing.
He left a remark in the last letter I've read. That to practise what he sees, he asked all of us to imagine as not Filipinos, to have no idea as being one and then encounter the news about what happened. Well, if I were that person. I would see a developing country with poor economy, a 17 year old Jasmine Trias being welcomed for winning 3rd in an American artist competition, a 12 year old Faye going unnoticed after winning 1st in an International Biology Olympiad, people wanting to give justice to Faye and people going against the claims of the people who wants to give justice to Faye. Hmmm... it's actually rather complicated... :P... First, we can't just leave Filipinos in being stuck as star-studded people but we also cannot permit them complaining too much about the government. Too bad... God has a plan for the Filipinos, but at present it seems like my beloved country is stuck in the crossroad between following God's plan, and pushing through to maybe some unwanted fate in the long run of which I am not aware of. There may be a third path; however, all i care about is that God's plan is the best and all the rest can never come close.
Oh well.... It's only a matter of time to see what would really happen. It seems like Faye is starting to show up and I just hope that she would teach Filipinos some important lessons in being really one... Actually, after a number of heavy words being poured against me in our "intellectual" sparring, me being the unintellectual one, I got scared of showing up. Because I think I tickled his nerves to a point where he might bite me the next time he sees me... hehe... Now, however, I have overcomed it because I got a powerful God who will protect me, but apparently he doesn't seem to have one (if he is an athiest). I don't want to be hostile. Unfortunately, I'm bent on running away from potential conflicts; not that Im afraid to utterly lose but I'm afraid to intentionally hurt people and maybe lose the little pride i have left. Thanks to people who have sent me personal messages thanking me for standing up, I actually gained the confidence I have lost. =)
God is compassionate and loving. He will never leave me in this mess i placed myself into. Actually, it's really against my nature to stand up and "fight" for what I believe in so I ended up apologizing for sending a seemingly bitter response to him (after clearing out some misunderstandings that is--> or maybe correcting assumptions he made from whatever implications he generated from what I've said... Implications I didn't dare say for they were out of my mind and not even part of my intentions.)... Oh well again... Forget about them... For sure, the Lord taught me one thing... Never be too confident with oneself, but rather to seek righteousness and knowledge from Him. That way i wont be lost in any intellectual conversations that I might engage myself with in the ages to come =P.
Haha... Now this is getting too long and im still less than half way of my actual study target for today... Yesterday was worse because I could have achieved a good deal of studying if not.... ehh... ahah... nevermind....=P... God has a reason for everything. He allows things to happen for His purposes. =)... I want to rejoice in Him =)... and I still want to learn how to rejoice in Him despite all the hardships coming my way. =)... haha... I'm thankful that I have and will have the Lord at all times =)...
God bless!
¶ 5:49 PM
hehe... finally i still can't study well.. hehe... yesterday i spent hours giving rough changes for this blog (5 hours i think =P ) but anyway, at least i could say that my blog is 90% done or nearly done. I'm also glad I already told Kor about this... hehe.. I was quite scared though about what if, when she learns about this and a number of people learned beforehand, she might feel that i didn't trust her. I do, but i can't tell her back then... for some reasons ;)... and the finally im referring about is her knowledge of this.
it's quite funny lately that I'm engaging myself with intellectual conversations without a good brain in hand... haha.. my brain is not in my hand duh! =P... just kidding... what I meant was that in the first place I'd be talking to people who are way older than me and got my respect but not necessarily my agreement; they are good at finding loop holes in arguments...haha. =). Neways, my five-cent words were slapped with one-dollar ones... haha, at least I got to learn what schtick is. A word i can hardly spell without the dictionary. *LOL* hehe... but then, i learned the flaws of my arguments and I hope that person too learned his... Or maybe he just sticks too much with his cause =P... I find him as someone who loves to go against the general flow and someone who tends to negate stuff and maybe even accept things (especially the bad implications of phrases that I never really even considered) as for himself. In the first place, I wasn't criticising his character but rather his claims and how they are biased with his experiences. It made me feel bad though because it seems like the words I've said to him were piercing him or in his terms "hitting him below the belt". I am well aware that I could be a potential warfreak or be a total peacelover, but my intentions are never to hurt anyone. My intention that time was to defend a Christian, whose achievements were trivially undermined by him, who also achieved a similar thing.
He left a remark in the last letter I've read. That to practise what he sees, he asked all of us to imagine as not Filipinos, to have no idea as being one and then encounter the news about what happened. Well, if I were that person. I would see a developing country with poor economy, a 17 year old Jasmine Trias being welcomed for winning 3rd in an American artist competition, a 12 year old Faye going unnoticed after winning 1st in an International Biology Olympiad, people wanting to give justice to Faye and people going against the claims of the people who wants to give justice to Faye. Hmmm... it's actually rather complicated... :P... First, we can't just leave Filipinos in being stuck as star-studded people but we also cannot permit them complaining too much about the government. Too bad... God has a plan for the Filipinos, but at present it seems like my beloved country is stuck in the crossroad between following God's plan, and pushing through to maybe some unwanted fate in the long run of which I am not aware of. There may be a third path; however, all i care about is that God's plan is the best and all the rest can never come close.
Oh well.... It's only a matter of time to see what would really happen. It seems like Faye is starting to show up and I just hope that she would teach Filipinos some important lessons in being really one... Actually, after a number of heavy words being poured against me in our "intellectual" sparring, me being the unintellectual one, I got scared of showing up. Because I think I tickled his nerves to a point where he might bite me the next time he sees me... hehe... Now, however, I have overcomed it because I got a powerful God who will protect me, but apparently he doesn't seem to have one (if he is an athiest). I don't want to be hostile. Unfortunately, I'm bent on running away from potential conflicts; not that Im afraid to utterly lose but I'm afraid to intentionally hurt people and maybe lose the little pride i have left. Thanks to people who have sent me personal messages thanking me for standing up, I actually gained the confidence I have lost. =)
God is compassionate and loving. He will never leave me in this mess i placed myself into. Actually, it's really against my nature to stand up and "fight" for what I believe in so I ended up apologizing for sending a seemingly bitter response to him (after clearing out some misunderstandings that is--> or maybe correcting assumptions he made from whatever implications he generated from what I've said... Implications I didn't dare say for they were out of my mind and not even part of my intentions.)... Oh well again... Forget about them... For sure, the Lord taught me one thing... Never be too confident with oneself, but rather to seek righteousness and knowledge from Him. That way i wont be lost in any intellectual conversations that I might engage myself with in the ages to come =P.
Haha... Now this is getting too long and im still less than half way of my actual study target for today... Yesterday was worse because I could have achieved a good deal of studying if not.... ehh... ahah... nevermind....=P... God has a reason for everything. He allows things to happen for His purposes. =)... I want to rejoice in Him =)... and I still want to learn how to rejoice in Him despite all the hardships coming my way. =)... haha... I'm thankful that I have and will have the Lord at all times =)...
God bless!
¶ 5:49 PM
