Saturday, October 16, 2004
hit twice...
my day started waking up early after the 5 hour long rehearsal for culture night play the night before... and that early is barely an hour earlier for my first ever softball training. I finally decided to show up else I'm out of the team... well, there is a big possibility that I'd be out... Maybe after being so lazy to show up for the past few weeks, due to my schedule and deadlines, I finally decided to do it this time around because I have to. The training lasts from 10 to 2, and i'm a bit afraid of the sun so, well, face it, I'm going to be darker again for fun... Anyway, as a whole, the training appeared like heaven and earth conspired against me to make this day not so good at all. I was hit twice with high speed softball balls. The first one was during the attempt of catching the ball at the home base ( i was the catcher). Our opponent was scoring because the last batter did a homerun hit. But, while catching the ball from the home base it landed on my unprotected right hand and lose grip of it. Fortunately, it destroyed the blister in my palm, although I was quite teary eyed to see my skin ripping off and my joints soring a bit. So the inning stopped, and teams switched, they set a score limit that time because their scoring seemed endless (since they still have 2 outs left with 6 or 8 points). I sat down on one side with a senior, enjoying the start of the inning while comforting my swelling palm and realizing that I can hardly bat in that situation, I told my senior that I wont bat (because I was supposed to be the second batter). "God must have willed something" is the thought that popped out from my head, I was kinda glad and grateful because even though pain is torturing my hand, it was to eliminate the icky blister away =). "God should have willed something to happen" because this time around, another high speed ball came flying towards us. While I was watching it coming to our direction, I was thinking of jumping off. However, I just decided to avert my body because I was kinda lazy with my hand in pain. And yeah, the ball hit me again, thank goodness it was just in the side of my ribcage. AND the inning came to a halt afterwards I believe... It was a manageable pain but I lowered my head to cover myself from crying (so some people taught the ball hit my head)... I wanted to cry because it was the second time around! My senior grabbed me, and assisted me to the toilet to check if there was any injury, I know i had none but I just wanted to go to the toilet to wash my face and stop myself from crying...
I still wanted to play... But the game stopped because of me... and these thoughts made me feel bad and made me want to cry more... anyway, after 15-20 mins in the toilet the urge to cry ceased and i got control of my emotions afterwards...
Another game started and my teammates sat on the side, resting. The game ended earlier than expected and we lost (although I think we scored 4 and then the game stopped after I got hit). I'm really touched by the concerns they're showing me (especially from the people I thought who were just stone-cold), and even made me want (at that moment) to "die-die" just to achieve the number of points required to stay in the hall... The people are just really nice...
After the training, we went straight back to the hall... While nibbling my lunch in my room , Chami (my friend) came and surprised me with some funny news. First, she heard I was hit twice, and second, she told me that Kaiwen, the team captain, jokingly told her to tell me that I shouldn't quit softball after having such an unfateful day... I made a good laugh about it because the taught was quite impossible to enter my current mind state. I really wanted to play, and the fact that I wasn't able to bat for my first game, made me want to show up for the next trainings. =)... no matter how humiliating it was to nearly cry in front of many people because of my wrong acts (catching the ball with my right hand--> should be with the left because it is protected, and sitting near the home base)...=) , I still want to play softball. =)
anyway, I felt good because I havent felt so much physical pain for a day for the longest time already.=)... it's actually refreshing... hehe.. it's kinda odd but I think it all happened because God knew it would make me feel better... He really knows me then! =)... haha... and i feel thankful although... well, I feel like wanting to miss the gathering later for the Lord because I'm very tired and I haven't done anything for my classes... I have a tutorial due on monday and a test next next week.. It's STATICS (the dreaded one =D ) so it shouldn't be taken easily especially now that I don't understand the lectures...=)
But anyway, those are just things that could make me BUSY (Being Under Satan's Yoke) so that I won't be able to praise the Lord later... kinda sad.... coz I know what should be done, but my body and me doesn't want to...
Uhh... I don't know.... but whatever happens, I'll just tell in the next entry.... I hope something nice would...
but that's it for now... God bless!
¶ 4:52 PM
I still wanted to play... But the game stopped because of me... and these thoughts made me feel bad and made me want to cry more... anyway, after 15-20 mins in the toilet the urge to cry ceased and i got control of my emotions afterwards...
Another game started and my teammates sat on the side, resting. The game ended earlier than expected and we lost (although I think we scored 4 and then the game stopped after I got hit). I'm really touched by the concerns they're showing me (especially from the people I thought who were just stone-cold), and even made me want (at that moment) to "die-die" just to achieve the number of points required to stay in the hall... The people are just really nice...
After the training, we went straight back to the hall... While nibbling my lunch in my room , Chami (my friend) came and surprised me with some funny news. First, she heard I was hit twice, and second, she told me that Kaiwen, the team captain, jokingly told her to tell me that I shouldn't quit softball after having such an unfateful day... I made a good laugh about it because the taught was quite impossible to enter my current mind state. I really wanted to play, and the fact that I wasn't able to bat for my first game, made me want to show up for the next trainings. =)... no matter how humiliating it was to nearly cry in front of many people because of my wrong acts (catching the ball with my right hand--> should be with the left because it is protected, and sitting near the home base)...=) , I still want to play softball. =)
anyway, I felt good because I havent felt so much physical pain for a day for the longest time already.=)... it's actually refreshing... hehe.. it's kinda odd but I think it all happened because God knew it would make me feel better... He really knows me then! =)... haha... and i feel thankful although... well, I feel like wanting to miss the gathering later for the Lord because I'm very tired and I haven't done anything for my classes... I have a tutorial due on monday and a test next next week.. It's STATICS (the dreaded one =D ) so it shouldn't be taken easily especially now that I don't understand the lectures...=)
But anyway, those are just things that could make me BUSY (Being Under Satan's Yoke) so that I won't be able to praise the Lord later... kinda sad.... coz I know what should be done, but my body and me doesn't want to...
Uhh... I don't know.... but whatever happens, I'll just tell in the next entry.... I hope something nice would...
but that's it for now... God bless!
¶ 4:52 PM
