Monday, October 18, 2004
God's ways are higher than mine...His grace is what all it takes...
A friend that I just met a few weeks back gave me a Christian magazine, to help me in my growing process... It was quite awesome because the messages in that issue hit me (again) with a hard blow on the face. Telling me that all the while, what I was doing is not at all pleasing to my Lord. The issue, which I believe God really intended it to be, is about grace. It talked about how self-effort could make us helpless and how allowing God's grace to come to us could make all the difference...
Growing for the Lord through self-effort is not what God really wanted for us; He wants us to let Him work on us... All these times I've been trying to do things on my own, maybe as what Abraham had done after God initially promised him that he will have a son of his flesh--> Abraham on his own made an effort to have a child after this, so he had a child but with Hagar not with his wife... For Abraham knew that it was impossible to have a child with Sarah coz she's barren. Abraham didn't realize that time that God is the All-Sufficient One until a time came, when He was 99 years old (he is finally convinced that it is humanly impossible to have a child at that age) that God showed up again and made that promise... And indeed God was able to do so (that's why Isaac was born) because Abraham trusted God and in His promise... This story is relevant to me. Before I got the magazine, I was nearly getting worn out of reading the bible and pushing myself to grow in the Lord. I didn't realize that self-effort is a futile attempt in growing for Him because it is not Him that's working but its me. I know God wanted me to grow for Him in the right way so God corrected me by sending His message through the magazine that was somehow out-of-the-blue somebody smsed me that she'll give me the magazine... (GOD IS REALLY BEHIND ALL OF THESE =) )...When I started reading the first few pages, suddenly, "my world shattered into pieces"... All the while, I was not really doing the right thing... Yes I got the desire to grow, but I didn't get the desired result all because I'm really not letting God do His thing on me!...
I'm now recovering from that nearly "shock of a lifetime." I'm starting to let go of everything and let God manage the way I grow... And lately, He had shown me a sample of His grace...
I have a Christian friend whom I don't really jibe with. we don't seem to get along well because we are two different people, and maybe opposite on many things that we often misunderstand each other (one common thing we got though is pride)... My downsloping relationship with that Christian friend was a big hindrance for me to grow because if the disputes we're having don't get settled, I'll be living like a hyprocrite... It's alarming because she's my sister in the Lord and yet we are not in good terms... I have brought this up to God and Satan have been playing with my emotions by injecting hatred and grudge in my heart every now and then. If I had not been aware, I'd still be suffering from the hatred-grudge torment. I told the Lord that I wanted to do something, but I'm a bit of a coward so I decided that writing her an honest letter, telling her all what I want her to know, would be a good option to start with... It was self effort... It just gave us ideas of why we still don't get along well like Christians do but nothing more, we still feel the "I don't know what will happen after this" or "okay, well, I don't really care what's next"... So I didn't know what to do for my efforts seemed nothing... I started giving up, coz I really can't do anything. My heart was depressed for it knew that I can't move on if the issue still continues. I gave up and well, maybe because when everything seemed hopeless, God came in because it was the opportunity He has been waiting for to do His thing =). (how "stupid" of me to not realize this earlier!) and this is how it all happened:
I came to church late because of my current state: " I don't want to care anymore because this is all getting wrong," I actually came late for the youth group meeting that we were supposed to have... When I came in, I surprised them with my injured hand and my not so okay facial expression... (I'm not really a good actress because I couldn't really hide my feelings!!!)... Then they checked up on me, and well, thinking that it's all getting wrong and I'm becoming a hypocrite (she's actually around), I suddenly broke into tears... I felt guilty and wrong... We were going to have a fellowship but my heart isn't at all "in the mood" because a mixture of hatred and conscience are confusing it... Then the youth group leader started to work on it (with of course God patiently guiding her)... Trying to break the "secret code" (because I would never want to tell them why unless they could identify the solution to my problem) of my suppressed emotions so that I'd tell the reason behind my long face... I wouldn't relent thinking that it's not going to work because we have tried it before and the dispute is still happening (maybe then because it was also self effort--> I swallowed my pride to talk to her)... Successfully, after going through many passages in the bible and reading a lot of things, she came across conclusions that hit me after so many attempts... They actually started as a weak "bullets" but as they progressed they became so strong that they ran right through me and slowly broke my "secret code" ... The conclusion was: We should trust in the Lord in everything because He is working on us (we are all a work in progress); the youth becomes weary and needs to get refreshed, and His plans are not to harm us but to prosper us...--> A bit of Proverbs 3:5-6, Isaiah 40... My friend also spoke up and realize that my main prob was between the two of us... and then after an hour or two of talk and breaking the code, I opened up, my friend opened up too with the assistance of our youth leader... Slowly, God worked through my heart to make it give in because this time it was Him who's working and it's really going to work... I gave in at first with reluctance, and slowly I started to accept the necessity, that I believe God has placed in my heart, that a fresh start should begin and all bad things must be forgotten (for they are already forgiven)... Then and there, I realised that God heard the cry of my heart for the past few days and solved my problem... He also helped my friend... It was a win-win situation even though it required us to shed our pride, which I never really expected to happen...
SEE HOW HE WORKS THINGS OUT? all the while I thought there's going to be no way out, indeed I would never figure out a better way... God is really fantastic! Wonderful! Great! Brilliant!... I believe this time it's really going to work... For this time it's His grace...
God is good! ALL THE TIME!
All the time! GOD IS GOOD!
¶ 12:56 PM
Growing for the Lord through self-effort is not what God really wanted for us; He wants us to let Him work on us... All these times I've been trying to do things on my own, maybe as what Abraham had done after God initially promised him that he will have a son of his flesh--> Abraham on his own made an effort to have a child after this, so he had a child but with Hagar not with his wife... For Abraham knew that it was impossible to have a child with Sarah coz she's barren. Abraham didn't realize that time that God is the All-Sufficient One until a time came, when He was 99 years old (he is finally convinced that it is humanly impossible to have a child at that age) that God showed up again and made that promise... And indeed God was able to do so (that's why Isaac was born) because Abraham trusted God and in His promise... This story is relevant to me. Before I got the magazine, I was nearly getting worn out of reading the bible and pushing myself to grow in the Lord. I didn't realize that self-effort is a futile attempt in growing for Him because it is not Him that's working but its me. I know God wanted me to grow for Him in the right way so God corrected me by sending His message through the magazine that was somehow out-of-the-blue somebody smsed me that she'll give me the magazine... (GOD IS REALLY BEHIND ALL OF THESE =) )...When I started reading the first few pages, suddenly, "my world shattered into pieces"... All the while, I was not really doing the right thing... Yes I got the desire to grow, but I didn't get the desired result all because I'm really not letting God do His thing on me!...
I'm now recovering from that nearly "shock of a lifetime." I'm starting to let go of everything and let God manage the way I grow... And lately, He had shown me a sample of His grace...
I have a Christian friend whom I don't really jibe with. we don't seem to get along well because we are two different people, and maybe opposite on many things that we often misunderstand each other (one common thing we got though is pride)... My downsloping relationship with that Christian friend was a big hindrance for me to grow because if the disputes we're having don't get settled, I'll be living like a hyprocrite... It's alarming because she's my sister in the Lord and yet we are not in good terms... I have brought this up to God and Satan have been playing with my emotions by injecting hatred and grudge in my heart every now and then. If I had not been aware, I'd still be suffering from the hatred-grudge torment. I told the Lord that I wanted to do something, but I'm a bit of a coward so I decided that writing her an honest letter, telling her all what I want her to know, would be a good option to start with... It was self effort... It just gave us ideas of why we still don't get along well like Christians do but nothing more, we still feel the "I don't know what will happen after this" or "okay, well, I don't really care what's next"... So I didn't know what to do for my efforts seemed nothing... I started giving up, coz I really can't do anything. My heart was depressed for it knew that I can't move on if the issue still continues. I gave up and well, maybe because when everything seemed hopeless, God came in because it was the opportunity He has been waiting for to do His thing =). (how "stupid" of me to not realize this earlier!) and this is how it all happened:
I came to church late because of my current state: " I don't want to care anymore because this is all getting wrong," I actually came late for the youth group meeting that we were supposed to have... When I came in, I surprised them with my injured hand and my not so okay facial expression... (I'm not really a good actress because I couldn't really hide my feelings!!!)... Then they checked up on me, and well, thinking that it's all getting wrong and I'm becoming a hypocrite (she's actually around), I suddenly broke into tears... I felt guilty and wrong... We were going to have a fellowship but my heart isn't at all "in the mood" because a mixture of hatred and conscience are confusing it... Then the youth group leader started to work on it (with of course God patiently guiding her)... Trying to break the "secret code" (because I would never want to tell them why unless they could identify the solution to my problem) of my suppressed emotions so that I'd tell the reason behind my long face... I wouldn't relent thinking that it's not going to work because we have tried it before and the dispute is still happening (maybe then because it was also self effort--> I swallowed my pride to talk to her)... Successfully, after going through many passages in the bible and reading a lot of things, she came across conclusions that hit me after so many attempts... They actually started as a weak "bullets" but as they progressed they became so strong that they ran right through me and slowly broke my "secret code" ... The conclusion was: We should trust in the Lord in everything because He is working on us (we are all a work in progress); the youth becomes weary and needs to get refreshed, and His plans are not to harm us but to prosper us...--> A bit of Proverbs 3:5-6, Isaiah 40... My friend also spoke up and realize that my main prob was between the two of us... and then after an hour or two of talk and breaking the code, I opened up, my friend opened up too with the assistance of our youth leader... Slowly, God worked through my heart to make it give in because this time it was Him who's working and it's really going to work... I gave in at first with reluctance, and slowly I started to accept the necessity, that I believe God has placed in my heart, that a fresh start should begin and all bad things must be forgotten (for they are already forgiven)... Then and there, I realised that God heard the cry of my heart for the past few days and solved my problem... He also helped my friend... It was a win-win situation even though it required us to shed our pride, which I never really expected to happen...
SEE HOW HE WORKS THINGS OUT? all the while I thought there's going to be no way out, indeed I would never figure out a better way... God is really fantastic! Wonderful! Great! Brilliant!... I believe this time it's really going to work... For this time it's His grace...
God is good! ALL THE TIME!
All the time! GOD IS GOOD!
¶ 12:56 PM
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haha i will never forget this.=)
it struck me just now that God was indeed in our midst that time.. =)
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it struck me just now that God was indeed in our midst that time.. =)
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